Friday, June 25, 2010

The Plan

Well, we still have not heard anything from the Embassy….Ghana is 5 hours ahead of us so the business day there is half over.

Today we are starting to solidify living arrangements for Samuel as Jake and JJ will need to return home on their scheduled flight at 1am tonight. Nana Yaw's mom, Esi, has graciously offered to keep Samuel for us at her house in Sakumono-Tema (about a 30 minute drive from Accra) for the time being. Samuel was so excited to say his goodbyes to the foster family and start his new life that we think it would be taking a step backwards for him if he had to go back....it would be confusing. One of the little boys at the foster care home had an extremely hard time saying goodbye to Samuel. He cried and cried, sobbed and sobbed. Samuel did a very good job comforting the little boy and smiling and communicating that this was a happy time for him. I would hate to put them through that all over again. Jake has set up a meeting with Kofi today in which Kofi will explain everything to Samuel in twi (his village language) to ensure that he fully understands what is going on. Esi also talked with Samuel over the phone yesterday. During our time in Ghana we went to Esi's house twice with Samuel, so he's been there and we think he will be very comfortable there. Not to mention Esi is the BEST cook around! He will be in good hands!

To say that my heart is breaking over all of this is a complete understatement. I just feel this deep anguish inside….Jake and I agree that it feels like we are being put to death on the inside. You just can’t fathom how it feels having a child go through all of this. To put such hope in a child for a new life, and to see his excitement, and then to watch his tears fall when you tell him that he can’t come yet is absolutely the most awful feeling. Especially since we have created such an awesome bond with him. It is just sickening.

I wanted to share Jake’s text messages from yesterday but I realized that I just deleted my inbox. One of the main things was that the front desk clerk noted that he has never seen an African boy love the water as much as Samuel! Jake has been taking him and JJ swimming everyday at the hotel, and they both love it. Samuel is jumping in now off the edge, and this is just days after his first ever time in the swimming pool. Jake also noted in his text that they were jumping into the 3 ½ foot kiddie pool and JJ was jumping in and sitting on the bottom of the pool holding his breath for a few seconds before coming up! Awesome! We are going to have so much fun swimming at the hotels when we travel for tournaments! :)

I have some specific prayer requests

-Pray that Samuel would understand completely what is going on. That he doesn’t think we have somehow changed our minds and are leaving him. Pray that he knows we are coming back for him. Pray that he would trust God through this.

-Pray that we would trust God through this. The enemy tries to put a lie in my head every minute that God has abandoned us, that God wants to harm us, that God is not faithful. By God’s word I know that these are not true, but we are so vulnerable right now and confused.

-Pray that the visa would be issued as soon as possible. Pray that the chains of evil and injustice that have set itself up against our adoption would be broken by God’s supernatural power.

-Pray for safe travels for Jake and JJ tonight and tomorrow.

-Pray for guidance as to what our next steps should be in contacting the Embassy.

-I am having a really hard time just functioning right now. I have been so consumed with this the past week, and it is even harder being home now knowing that Samuel isn’t coming home right now. Some friends are keeping our other Sam for me right now, but soon I will need to get back on my feet and get back to life. Just pray that God would give me strength and joy again. I have none right now.

I am hoping to post my journal entries, pictures and videos from our time with Samuel soon. As bittersweet as that will be, blogging has certainly become an outlet for me, so I think writing about it will help me to process what is going on. Looking forward to sharing our sweet Samuel with you all. :)

8 comments:

renee said...

Janel, my heart is truly aching for you now. I BELIEVE your faith will get you through this. God never gives you more than you can handle and I think you've all handled this much better than anyone I know! :) Hang in there... I know Samuel will be home where he belongs soon. I can't wait to meet him - the photos of JJ with Samuel are beyond words...

Laura said...

Just know that so many people are praying for you all. I have friends praying for you as well. God is bigger than a visa and the embassy! This will work out for the good. God loves Samuel more than you can imagine and He will keep him safe and at peace with this situation..... Can't wait to meet him!

Jon and Jennifer said...

Oh Janel, our hearts are just breaking for you and the whole family. Keep the faith in God and trust in him that this WILL workout. We're praying for you all.

Kendra Dawn said...

Janel, I don't even know what to say/write. We are thinking/praying for you guys. Here I had posted on your facebook wall, thinking everything was wonderful, until I came to your blog to read about your frustrations.

Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you guys...

Angie said...

This is being brought before the throne of a MIGHTY God by so many people, Janel. Keep your chin up! I know that the beginning of your life with Samuel is very near. Praying...

Bonnie said...

Janel, we do not understand why God allows us trials we feel are unreasonable. We also know that God does not give us more than we can handle. There is something bigger in the working--something God is protected you FROM or working you TOWARD. There is a testimony of God's grace in the midst. We may only be blogging sisters in Christ, but I admire you!

Caitlin said...

Praying for you guys! Your boys are adorable!

Christy said...

Oh Janel, my heart just broke when I heard about this, and then read the details here. We are PRAYING for you all!!