Back in 2008 when Jake and I started into the international adoption process I had the mindset that we would be adopting an orphan that was currently living his/her life out in an orphanage. I pictured our child to have been completely abandoned by birthparents – left on the streets, or a child who’s mother and father had died. But when the Lord changed our adoption route from Ethiopia to Ghana I realized that my thinking was very green and unexperienced. Over time I came to understand that you can’t lump together all African adoptions into the same mold. Each country is SO DIFFERENT. In some countries birthfamilies aren’t allowed (legally) to relinquish their children so their only choice is abandonment. Other countries have sophisticated orphanages where birthmothers are allowed to leave their child in the orphanage’s hands (some birthmothers intend to come back for their child when they are older, others sign the ‘termination of rights’ right then and there which makes their child available for adoption). Some war-torn countries have experienced such violence that children are literally plucked from the ruins, and there is no knowledge of whether their birthparents are living or dead.
Not trying to generalize here, but it has been our experience that Ghana adoption is somewhat different than any of the above scenarios. There are certainly those situations that come along in Ghana where a child has been abandoned or completely neglected. More commonly, if a child is orphaned by the death or abandonment of their parent, it is seen as proper duty for immediate relatives to take responsibility for the child and care for them. Esi has told me many times that you would be hard-pressed to find a family in Ghana that doesn’t have a neice, nephew, extended family member, etc. living with them. It is quite common. But of course, there are those impoverished living situations which are so desperate, and proper care cannot be given to a child. In other countries, these situations are those in which a child could be taken to an orphanage. In Ghana, however, this is where a birthfamily (or surviving relatives) get to be intricately involved in making an adoption plan for their child. Those families who are in desperate situations are educated about adoption by a social worker. From there the birthfamily or surviving relatives must meet with social welfare in order that the investigation and proper paperwork processing can begin.
The Ghanaian adoption process of involving the birthfamily (or surviving relatives of a child) is so different than what I had originally pictured international adoption to be. In fact, even recently I was struggling with a lie circling in my mind - that because international adoptions in Ghana often happen right out of birthfamilies they appear to be less needed than adoptions in other countries (nobody else has said this, I just came up with this in my own mind). I had been hearing so many horrific stories out of Uganda and Sudan about orphans being abandoned and literally having no one and it caused me to start weighing where the most need was. I began to wonder if we were in the right place. I ended up emailing our Ghana adoption coordinator about it because I couldn’t see straight. An excerpt from her reply -
‘Honestly, I don't think of orphaned children in terms of "more needy" or "less needy." I don't think the children in Ghana are in any less need of families than the children of Uganda, and I don't think the children in Eastern Europe are in any more need than the children in Uganda. These are all children who need families (or should be). There are horrible, depressing, sad stories of Ghanaian children. I've seen children whose legs are eaten away with disease simply because the family didn't have enough water to spare for even a bucket or cloth bath. I've seen 8 year olds the size of 3 year olds. I've seen my own son nearly starved to death, and I know they thought my daughter would die before she reached her 2nd day in Accra. I've watched helplessly as one of our kids died from AIDS because he was left too long on the streets before his father sought help. I'm currently watching another 2 children die of AIDS because the parents refuse to believe HIV/AIDS is real. These are all Ghanaian children, and I'm sure what I've seen only scratches the surface of what there is to see. There is no lack of need for the children of Ghana. Even if a child in our program was loved and has never gone hungry, that child is lacking a family--a basic human need. I've had families ask to adopt ONLY a "true" orphan, or only an orphan "from a really bad situation." That caused me to think about this stuff. Is a child any less of a true orphan if they happen to have living parents somewhere? That child still needs a family! Does a child that experienced severe malnutrition need a family more than a child who hasn't? No, not to me.'
Her words really spoke to me, and from there it was like the Lord has opened up an entirely new perspective for me on the HUGE advantages of birthfamilies being so involved in adoptions in Ghana. The biggest one is that the children have the privilege of knowing where they come from. They know their history. They know the details behind their adoption. Again, this is not true of every, single Ghanaian adoption, but for our family it will be.
That brings me to our girls. Four little sentences in their social investigation report say so much...
The girls' mother, ‘M’, is a “pure water” seller in (name of village). She makes a very meager living and is on the street all day. The girls have different fathers, both whom denied the pregnancy. ‘M’ has given her consent for her children to be adopted to offer better opportunities in life for them.
And the effects of their poverty clearly seen in the medical exams as both of our girls are malnourished (as Justice was) and it is said that for our littlest one it will be about 3 months of proper nutrition for her to start looking ‘normal’. Just to have these details, even knowing the specific village where our children are from, and where their birthfamily still lives, is just incredible. Once again, it makes an ‘open adoption’ possible. Our girl’s birthmother will never have to wonder what happened to her children. She wanted a better life for them, and she will get to SEE the desires of her heart answered, just as Justice’s birthmother will in about one week’s time.
There is something else that comes of adopting out of this sort of situation that I also didn’t realize until after Justice came home. That is that Justice did not struggle with the usual attachment issues that often come along with adoption, and that are a huge part of the adoption education/training. His adjustment into our family was actually quite smooth. I couldn’t really put my finger on why this was until we recently received our next phase of education paperwork from our agency (we had used a different agency with Justice’s adoption, so we didn’t receive this the first time around). Among some of the information we received upon being matched with our girls was this:
Some Observations Regarding Ghanaian Placements
This is not meant to “paint all Ghanaian children with the same brush.” Neither is it a result of a study or survey. It is, rather, an attempt to communicate some observations about adopted Ghanaian children and how these children as a group appear to have certain similarities. With years and years of adoption experience, we at AAI have found that one can often find patterns in the behaviors and attitudes of children who have shared a similar culture and/or experiential backgrounds.
Much of the current adoption literature on the market addresses two large groups of adoptees – Eastern European toddlers and children, and those adopted from the United States foster care system. These groups often share prenatal and postnatal experiences that predispose them to similar challenges in their new families. Typically, the advice tends to focus on parental control, very structured environments and effective ways of managing children’s rage and stress. There is also great emphasis (and much is needed) on attachment, abuse, neglect, prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugs, and the psychological and cognitive problems experienced as a result of these issues.
However, most of the Ghanaian children do not fit this profile. It is apparent from the child histories collected from Ghana as well as from the stories of the older children themselves, that most of them had some experience with a loving, non-abusive birth family. Alcohol, though it certainly exists, does not seem to have the same hold on this culture as it does on others, and fetal alcohol effects have not been noted by families or physicians of Ghanaian children. In other words, children coming from Ghana appear as a group, to be much more intellectually and psychologically intact than children the same age coming from other environments.
What does this mean to a family parenting a child from Ghana? For one thing, it may mean that “tough” parenting often necessary for helping severely damaged children to thrive is not only unnecessary but could be counterproductive for a relatively emotionally intact Ghanaian child. This is not to minimize the grief they are experiencing as a result of losing loved ones and their familiar environment, but it does recognize a difference between “normal” grief and the personality problems caused by neurological damage and extreme, early neglect and abuse….
The article then goes on to list behaviors that are typical for Ghanaian children upon their homecoming (ALL of which Justice exhibited – some of them are a tad humorous to think back on now). As I read, I just continued to nod my head ‘yes’ the whole time. This literally was our exact experience with Justice. Of course there will always be exceptions, but when I read through this it was like I started to connect the dots in my mind of our experience thus far with Ghana adoption. WOW, was it ever powerful to receive this explanation, and this has made me even more grateful that Justice did spend his early years with his birthmother – not in an orphanage.
I am thankful for this new perspective that the Lord has given me on adopting out of a situation where a birthfamily is very involved in the adoption plan. I NEVER expected this out of international adoption, but once again I can see that the Lord has led our family to this country, and this type of adoption for a purpose!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
Mini Kiddo Updates
This is a pretty regular scene at our house…..
Jayla will disappear into her room for awhile, shut her door and turn on her music. Then she’ll dig through her dress up trunk, get all fancied up, and come take a little stroll around the house with her baby doll. She makes a big show of it, always hollering for Jake’s attention to ensure that he sees her, “Dad! Look at me!” She’ll wait for him to say, “Oh you look so beautiful.” Then she’ll flash a big smile, strut her version of a runway walk, and eventually head back into her room to change outfits and do it all over again. LOVE HER!
In dance Jayla’s class has just started learning their ballet and tap routines for the spring recital. The theme of the show is ‘Under the Sea’ and Jayla’s class is dancing to music from The Little Mermaid. A few weeks ago they got to try on their costumes and perform a couple of 8 counts for us parents. It was SO CUTE! Here’s a video clip I took on my phone (Jayla is right in front of the teacher) ….
Is the crab coming into the picture not hilarious? Jayla hasn’t quite learned to commit the moves to memory yet, so she usually just mimics her teacher a couple of seconds late. :) Even though she doesn’t know the steps, I LOVE to watch her smile the whole time. She is so proud of what she has learned. One thing that we have noticed is that she especially enjoys the gymnastics part of the class which they do the last 15 minutes. A few weeks ago they worked on their recital routine the entire time and didn’t have time for gymnastics – she came running out of the class with tears rolling down her face when it was over saying, “we couldn’t do nastics.” She was so sad. It made me decide that this summer when dance class is on break we should have her try out a class at a gymnastics place and see what she thinks. She is constantly perfecting her cartwheel at home, doing headstands up against the wall, and back flips off the couch. Even big brother JJ has to get in on the mix and compete with her to see who can do cartwheels the best.
Last week I got JJ all signed up for kindergarten (for the fall) and my mind has been reminiscing and pulling out shelved memories of our last [almost] 6 years together ever since. Preparing myself for him to go to school has made me even more appreciative that I’ve gotten to be a stay-at-home mom with him since the day he was born. However, I am going to miss him SO MUCH during the day. I can’t imagine going a morning without hearing about all the previous nights college and NBA games, what the team records are, and the top player stats. Hearing his little sportscaster voice go on and on excitedly the moment he rolls out of bed and checks ESPN is as routine as my morning coffee. And who will make him his beloved shells and cheese for lunch? And how will Jayla and I get through the matching game without hearing JJ talk smack to us because he has the marks on the backs of the cards memorized? And throughout the day I adore hearing, “Mommy will you throw me some passes? If it’s a touchdown put your arms up like this, if it is incomplete wave your arms like this….” and “Mommy, I got a big game in my room today at 12:00. You want to come watch? I’m playing the Lakers today. It’s just warm ups right now.” And when I need a midday smooch and hug, he’s always right there to be squeezed. I guess every momma has to let their first-born grow up, but I do not like it Sam I am!!!!!!!
With kindergarten in sight, we’ve definitely got some ‘growing up’ tasks to work on over the next few months – namely learning how to tie our shoes, cut paper with scissors (we barely know how to say the word ‘craft’ in this house), and learning how to ride a bike without training wheels. That being said, the kid can swish a baseline jumper….
Check out Justice’s new reading glasses prescribed to him by Dr. Mike!
Lookin’ good dude! Even without the glasses the past few months Justice’s reading has improved by LEAPS and BOUNDS (literally - you should see the chart of scores his reading tutor has graphed out)! As always, Justice received a great report from his teacher at conferences yesterday. His ESL teacher, who has worked with him now for 1 1/2 years, got tears in her eyes as she talked about how much she is going to miss him next year (for 3rd grade he heads to a different building). I know teachers aren't supposed to have favorites, but you can tell Justice holds a special place in her heart. :) We told her not to worry as she is going to get to do this with us all over again in a few months when our girls come home! We met with three of his teachers (2nd grade teacher, reading tutor, ESL teacher) and each one of them was so encouraging to him about his upcoming trip to Ghana. His ESL teacher especially has been encouraging him to stay fluent in his other Ghanaian languages. This will be a huge tool for him to have as he gets older. We want him to be able to communicate in the local languages on our trips, and especially to be able to talk with his birthmother who doesn't know English. Justice will give a big presentation on his trip to his class when he gets back, and I know everyone is excited to see pictures and hear from Justice first-hand. What a great opportunity for our family to also educate others about adoption!
As we’ve been preparing to take Justice back to Ghana for his first visit, we are very curious as to how he will respond. He’s talked a lot about his little brother in Ghana, Kwasi (spelling?), as he’s thought about the trip. I can imagine that someday the comparison of how his brother is growing up, to the opportunity that Justice has been given is going to get more pronounced as Justice gets older and he understands more. Taking Justice to Ghana frequently will hopefully provoke some resolve in him to stay connected to his heritage and take action on behalf of his people and his birthfamily. Justice has been saving his money to buy Kwasi a gift, and he knew just what he wanted to get him – a remote control car. When we first met Justice back in December 2009 we had thought he was younger than he was, so we had brought him a little electronic spiderman car. Well, it ended up being a huge hit with little brother Kwasi…..
Justice told us that Kwasi played with it sun up to sun down! Here is the stash that we are bringing for Kwasi this trip….these items were all hand-picked by Justice…..he was very adamant that we needed to bring him a toothbrush and toothpaste.
We’ve also picked out some of the donated clothes that we think should fit Kwasi perfectly.
In my heart I had promised Justice’s birthmother that this would be an open adoption. I am so excited to take the first BIG step of making good on that promise!
In dance Jayla’s class has just started learning their ballet and tap routines for the spring recital. The theme of the show is ‘Under the Sea’ and Jayla’s class is dancing to music from The Little Mermaid. A few weeks ago they got to try on their costumes and perform a couple of 8 counts for us parents. It was SO CUTE! Here’s a video clip I took on my phone (Jayla is right in front of the teacher) ….
Is the crab coming into the picture not hilarious? Jayla hasn’t quite learned to commit the moves to memory yet, so she usually just mimics her teacher a couple of seconds late. :) Even though she doesn’t know the steps, I LOVE to watch her smile the whole time. She is so proud of what she has learned. One thing that we have noticed is that she especially enjoys the gymnastics part of the class which they do the last 15 minutes. A few weeks ago they worked on their recital routine the entire time and didn’t have time for gymnastics – she came running out of the class with tears rolling down her face when it was over saying, “we couldn’t do nastics.” She was so sad. It made me decide that this summer when dance class is on break we should have her try out a class at a gymnastics place and see what she thinks. She is constantly perfecting her cartwheel at home, doing headstands up against the wall, and back flips off the couch. Even big brother JJ has to get in on the mix and compete with her to see who can do cartwheels the best.
Last week I got JJ all signed up for kindergarten (for the fall) and my mind has been reminiscing and pulling out shelved memories of our last [almost] 6 years together ever since. Preparing myself for him to go to school has made me even more appreciative that I’ve gotten to be a stay-at-home mom with him since the day he was born. However, I am going to miss him SO MUCH during the day. I can’t imagine going a morning without hearing about all the previous nights college and NBA games, what the team records are, and the top player stats. Hearing his little sportscaster voice go on and on excitedly the moment he rolls out of bed and checks ESPN is as routine as my morning coffee. And who will make him his beloved shells and cheese for lunch? And how will Jayla and I get through the matching game without hearing JJ talk smack to us because he has the marks on the backs of the cards memorized? And throughout the day I adore hearing, “Mommy will you throw me some passes? If it’s a touchdown put your arms up like this, if it is incomplete wave your arms like this….” and “Mommy, I got a big game in my room today at 12:00. You want to come watch? I’m playing the Lakers today. It’s just warm ups right now.” And when I need a midday smooch and hug, he’s always right there to be squeezed. I guess every momma has to let their first-born grow up, but I do not like it Sam I am!!!!!!!
Check out Justice’s new reading glasses prescribed to him by Dr. Mike!
As we’ve been preparing to take Justice back to Ghana for his first visit, we are very curious as to how he will respond. He’s talked a lot about his little brother in Ghana, Kwasi (spelling?), as he’s thought about the trip. I can imagine that someday the comparison of how his brother is growing up, to the opportunity that Justice has been given is going to get more pronounced as Justice gets older and he understands more. Taking Justice to Ghana frequently will hopefully provoke some resolve in him to stay connected to his heritage and take action on behalf of his people and his birthfamily. Justice has been saving his money to buy Kwasi a gift, and he knew just what he wanted to get him – a remote control car. When we first met Justice back in December 2009 we had thought he was younger than he was, so we had brought him a little electronic spiderman car. Well, it ended up being a huge hit with little brother Kwasi…..
In my heart I had promised Justice’s birthmother that this would be an open adoption. I am so excited to take the first BIG step of making good on that promise!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Kael Man Race Website is Up!
In January I shared this story of our friends, Derek & Dawn Grooters, who walked through the valley of the shadow of death with their son Kael. Following Kael’s passing, the Lord began to speak a vision into Dawn’s heart….
One day in May 2011, I was running and God had put it on my mind several times to set up a race in Kael’s name to help honor his memory and do good for someone or something. That morning as I ran, I asked God “what do you want me to do with this?” Then He answered me, “I gave Kael parents who loved him and took care of him. I want you to help the children I have already put on this earth have loving parents too. Use this race to help families who want to adopt and love children.”
From that day this race has turned from a vision to reality. Preparations for the 5K are in full swing, and now the race website is up!!!!
Visit http://www.kaelman.org/ to register for the 5K, become a sponsor for the event, donate to help families adopt, and to read the Grooters’ story. The Grooters have subtitled this 5K run/walk as a ‘Race to make adoption an option’. With your support for this event you are not only helping Derek and Dawn honor their son Kael’s memory, but you are also providing financial grants to assist families that want to adopt children (WHOOO HOOOO!).
As a reminder, here are the race specifics:
Date: Saturday, July 7th, 2012 at 8 am
Site: Ada Hayden Park in Ames, IA
Registration Fee is $25
If you don’t see yourself participating, please consider a donation - small or large - to the cause. Your donation will go into the pool of money given out as adoption grants, which will help bring home orphans to their forever families. If you are moved to give even $10, you can make a tax deductible donation by clicking here.
Let’s get registered people!!!!!!!!!
One day in May 2011, I was running and God had put it on my mind several times to set up a race in Kael’s name to help honor his memory and do good for someone or something. That morning as I ran, I asked God “what do you want me to do with this?” Then He answered me, “I gave Kael parents who loved him and took care of him. I want you to help the children I have already put on this earth have loving parents too. Use this race to help families who want to adopt and love children.”
From that day this race has turned from a vision to reality. Preparations for the 5K are in full swing, and now the race website is up!!!!
Visit http://www.kaelman.org/ to register for the 5K, become a sponsor for the event, donate to help families adopt, and to read the Grooters’ story. The Grooters have subtitled this 5K run/walk as a ‘Race to make adoption an option’. With your support for this event you are not only helping Derek and Dawn honor their son Kael’s memory, but you are also providing financial grants to assist families that want to adopt children (WHOOO HOOOO!).
As a reminder, here are the race specifics:
Date: Saturday, July 7th, 2012 at 8 am
Site: Ada Hayden Park in Ames, IA
Registration Fee is $25
If you don’t see yourself participating, please consider a donation - small or large - to the cause. Your donation will go into the pool of money given out as adoption grants, which will help bring home orphans to their forever families. If you are moved to give even $10, you can make a tax deductible donation by clicking here.
Let’s get registered people!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Adoption Update!
The last update I left you regarding our adoption was here. God had revealed that Yaa and Adjoa were not the girls we were to be adopting. It was clear to see, but really hard to accept. For about 2 weeks we allowed everything to sink in, and wanted to be attentive to the Lord’s guidance as He worked on our hearts. Part of that involved processing the news that two other girls, sisters, had just been brought to our in-country social worker’s orphanage. We were the ‘paper-ready’ family in line to be matched with them once their paperwork was also complete. The timing was impeccable as I blogged about here.
As the days went by, this just felt like an obvious door that had been opened by the Lord’s hand. On February 17th we emailed our agency with the official word that we would walk through that open door. We had decided to pursue the adoption of these two new sisters that had been brought to the orphanage.
From there things have really been moving!
One day later we received word that the social investigation report had been completed for the girls, and that we were just waiting on their medicals. This in itself was HUGE. The girls had already been relinquished for adoption, but sometimes it can take anywhere from 1 month to a few months to receive the full social investigation report. On February 22nd we received the ‘official’ referral information for our girls. OUR GIRLS! From there we signed the child placement agreement which is our commitment to adopt these girls specifically.
And then here is where the Lord’s providence really shines through. Because we started the adoption of Yaa and Adjoa back in August, I literally had our entire dossier (the paperwork for Jake and I) ready to go. I was only waiting on one form that was to be sent to us once Yaa and Adjoa were officially referred to us (what we were waiting on when their adoption fell through). So, as we had waited on Y and A, it also gave me 6 months to get our dossier in order, which it was. Upon accepting our new referrals and receiving the final form that I needed, I was able to FedEx our dossier to Ghana the very next day. [In case you’re wondering, the dossier is so important because our in-country social worker needs it in order to present our case for a court date.] Our program coordinator said that she doesn’t think she has ever had someone receive their child referrals and then send their dossier 24 hours later. But thanks to Yaa and Adjoa no time was wasted. Even BIGGER than that – by agency rule, I could not send our dossier until the appropriate fees were paid. $2000 is due to our agency when we are officially matched with our referrals. Then $5000 is due before court, when the dossier is sent over. Because of how the timing of this has all worked out, for us these two fees happened to be due at the same time! Not only that, but we also needed to send over our foster care fees for the upcoming month of March ($150 x 2). Thankfully the Lord knew this was all coming and had been filling our adoption fund all along as I have been blogging about! A few hours before I FedEx’d our dossier I called in our fees to make payment to our agency over the phone. We had $8,748.81 in our adoption account so I was able to pay the $7,300 due, which allowed us to send our dossier. WOW. I just keep rehearsing in my mind that if we had not originally been led to Yaa and Adjoa, none of this would have fallen into place. It is still quite amazing/shocking to me the path the Lord started us on to get us here.
Perhaps you may also remember that we have had a March Ghana trip planned for some time. Now we will get the chance to meet our daughters on this trip coming up in just a few weeks. This same scenario had also happened within Justice’s adoption. Jake and I had planned a December 2009 trip to Ghana months before we were matched with Justice. And then it worked out to get to meet him while we were there. Our social worker is hoping to be able to get us a court date while we are in Ghana. This would be UNBELIEVABLE if it could work out – please pray to this end.
As things fall into place I am also on the look-out for the enemy’s attacks, of which we already received his lovely flaming arrows last week. Have I mentioned that satan HATES adoption?
I am tempted to hold my breath and not enter into all of this until after we have passed court. However, I am reminded of what I learned in our last adoption – that God is Sovereign over all the details. He will close doors and open doors as He directs our path. We need to trust HIM and walk by faith, not by sight. He will lead us to where we are supposed to be.
Proverbs 16:9 ~ In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
As the days went by, this just felt like an obvious door that had been opened by the Lord’s hand. On February 17th we emailed our agency with the official word that we would walk through that open door. We had decided to pursue the adoption of these two new sisters that had been brought to the orphanage.
From there things have really been moving!
One day later we received word that the social investigation report had been completed for the girls, and that we were just waiting on their medicals. This in itself was HUGE. The girls had already been relinquished for adoption, but sometimes it can take anywhere from 1 month to a few months to receive the full social investigation report. On February 22nd we received the ‘official’ referral information for our girls. OUR GIRLS! From there we signed the child placement agreement which is our commitment to adopt these girls specifically.
And then here is where the Lord’s providence really shines through. Because we started the adoption of Yaa and Adjoa back in August, I literally had our entire dossier (the paperwork for Jake and I) ready to go. I was only waiting on one form that was to be sent to us once Yaa and Adjoa were officially referred to us (what we were waiting on when their adoption fell through). So, as we had waited on Y and A, it also gave me 6 months to get our dossier in order, which it was. Upon accepting our new referrals and receiving the final form that I needed, I was able to FedEx our dossier to Ghana the very next day. [In case you’re wondering, the dossier is so important because our in-country social worker needs it in order to present our case for a court date.] Our program coordinator said that she doesn’t think she has ever had someone receive their child referrals and then send their dossier 24 hours later. But thanks to Yaa and Adjoa no time was wasted. Even BIGGER than that – by agency rule, I could not send our dossier until the appropriate fees were paid. $2000 is due to our agency when we are officially matched with our referrals. Then $5000 is due before court, when the dossier is sent over. Because of how the timing of this has all worked out, for us these two fees happened to be due at the same time! Not only that, but we also needed to send over our foster care fees for the upcoming month of March ($150 x 2). Thankfully the Lord knew this was all coming and had been filling our adoption fund all along as I have been blogging about! A few hours before I FedEx’d our dossier I called in our fees to make payment to our agency over the phone. We had $8,748.81 in our adoption account so I was able to pay the $7,300 due, which allowed us to send our dossier. WOW. I just keep rehearsing in my mind that if we had not originally been led to Yaa and Adjoa, none of this would have fallen into place. It is still quite amazing/shocking to me the path the Lord started us on to get us here.
Perhaps you may also remember that we have had a March Ghana trip planned for some time. Now we will get the chance to meet our daughters on this trip coming up in just a few weeks. This same scenario had also happened within Justice’s adoption. Jake and I had planned a December 2009 trip to Ghana months before we were matched with Justice. And then it worked out to get to meet him while we were there. Our social worker is hoping to be able to get us a court date while we are in Ghana. This would be UNBELIEVABLE if it could work out – please pray to this end.
As things fall into place I am also on the look-out for the enemy’s attacks, of which we already received his lovely flaming arrows last week. Have I mentioned that satan HATES adoption?
I am tempted to hold my breath and not enter into all of this until after we have passed court. However, I am reminded of what I learned in our last adoption – that God is Sovereign over all the details. He will close doors and open doors as He directs our path. We need to trust HIM and walk by faith, not by sight. He will lead us to where we are supposed to be.
Proverbs 16:9 ~ In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Vander Weide Kids Are Home!
A little less than a year ago our friends the Vander Weide’s had a life-changing encounter at the Beacon House Orphanage on one of our Ghana trips. You can read that story here. From there this family stepped out in faith, and a little over one week ago their adoption journey finished out. Our family got to be at the airport to welcome Job, Angela, and Godwin to the USA with smiles and hugs and joy -proclaiming that these three former orphans were now spoken for. I relished these moments as it brought me back to my own memories of our airport scene with Justice. Coming over that escalator was the final exclamation point that seemed to shout – “WE ENDURED the roller coaster of the adoption journey! Let the new chapter of our lives begin!!!!!” I have [not so] patiently been waiting for Dawn to upload the pictures of their homecoming and 1st week to facebook [b/c of course, my camera failed me when I needed it most - as usual - probably not the camera but the operator]. Understandably, the VW’s have been SUPER busy and uploading pics has not been at the top of their to-do list. :) Therefore, you will have to make do with the pictures I caught on my camera and few more that I scrounged up from others that were at the airport.
To start, I have to share the following picture, taken in Ghana when the VW’s went to bring their kids home. One of my favorite things about Ghana adoption is that adoptive families get the opportunity to bond with their kids in their birth-country (for some, a handful of times) before the kids come home. This is a huge advantage both for the adoptive parent and the adopted child(ren). On this homecoming trip Doug and Dawn took their kids to an alligator farm while in Ghana!!!!!!! Yeah, not your every-day experience....
If you know Doug Vander Weide then this picture does NOT surprise you at all. Let’s just say he is the adventurous type! The Vander Weide’s also took a very special visit to Tamale, Ghana to meet the birthfamily of their children. This area of Ghana is over 15 hours by car from the capital city (Accra) that they flew into from the U.S. So they took a little jet plane in-country to reach Tamale. Again, another very special experience to be able to look into the eyes of your children’s birthmother, and to take in the environment that they would have grown up in, or did grow up in for a few years.
And now, here are the homecoming pictures!!!
Anxiously awaiting our first glimpse (those are Doug and Dawn's kids front and center wearing orange).....
There they are!!!!!!!
Emma, Grace and JD welcome their new siblings – the rest of us completely froze still during these first moments.
Grandpa & Grandma Vander Weide have been so supportive of this adoption from day 1. They even sold their house in Tennessee and moved to Des Moines so that they could be closer to help Doug and Dawn now that their family has doubled! You can just see Grandpa VW’s pride – “This is my boy!”
And to experience a grandmother’s love for the first time…wow…
Job got to spend a lot of time with Jake and our other tripsters on the December trip in Asikuma, so he remembered Jake and was glad to see a familiar face in the crowd!
And Job and Justice met for the first time!
Jayla checking out Angela…
Yep, the VW sisters are about to learn what the word ‘busy’ really means!!!
And the whole fam….
Funny thing, on the day that the Vander Weide’s got back from Ghana we had gotten a bunch of snow – almost more than we’ve had at one time all winter! Job was very worried that he was going to freeze to death - literally – he thought he might turn into ice! Welcome to Iowa, Job….
Angela learns the meaning of getting ‘bundled up’!
And home they go!!!!!!!!!
One day later Dawn posted this update:
Yes! Our Ghanaian kids love the snow! They went sledding and had a blast! Hopefully this means Job won't continue his fear of literally freezing in Iowa. I'm talking popsicle. (of course it was only about 50 degrees - so not a true taste of what winter could be)
These kids are all 3 different from our first 3 who are each different from each other. I'm learning so much about who they are and what they need. It is so much fun!
Job is a leader who needs kindness and time and lots of boy fun. Angela is funny and cute, she cares what she wears, and she certainly prefers getting her way :) . She needs patience and consistency as well as a good dose of self-esteem building. Godwin is a stich. He mades us laugh and laugh! All he needs is hugs, kisses, balls of all sorts, lots of sleep and even more food. Grace is working on his left foot soccer skills and shooting!
Once things settle down at their place we are all hoping to get together and connect. I’ll definitely keep you updated on this family’s new chapter. The Vander Weide’s adoption is so inspiring. Their adoption has highlighted a different aspect in my mind of what it means to step out in faith……because…..they have literally started back over in the child rearing years. As I see it, this in itself is a huge sacrifice…..they were just a few years from having all teenagers and soon will be watching their first-born graduate high school. The selflessness of heading back into the early toddler and preschool years to do it all over again is just WOW to me! What an amazing story God is writing in their lives!
To start, I have to share the following picture, taken in Ghana when the VW’s went to bring their kids home. One of my favorite things about Ghana adoption is that adoptive families get the opportunity to bond with their kids in their birth-country (for some, a handful of times) before the kids come home. This is a huge advantage both for the adoptive parent and the adopted child(ren). On this homecoming trip Doug and Dawn took their kids to an alligator farm while in Ghana!!!!!!! Yeah, not your every-day experience....
And now, here are the homecoming pictures!!!
Anxiously awaiting our first glimpse (those are Doug and Dawn's kids front and center wearing orange).....
There they are!!!!!!!
Emma, Grace and JD welcome their new siblings – the rest of us completely froze still during these first moments.
And Job and Justice met for the first time!
Jayla checking out Angela…
Yep, the VW sisters are about to learn what the word ‘busy’ really means!!!
And the whole fam….
Angela learns the meaning of getting ‘bundled up’!
And home they go!!!!!!!!!
Yes! Our Ghanaian kids love the snow! They went sledding and had a blast! Hopefully this means Job won't continue his fear of literally freezing in Iowa. I'm talking popsicle. (of course it was only about 50 degrees - so not a true taste of what winter could be)
These kids are all 3 different from our first 3 who are each different from each other. I'm learning so much about who they are and what they need. It is so much fun!
Job is a leader who needs kindness and time and lots of boy fun. Angela is funny and cute, she cares what she wears, and she certainly prefers getting her way :) . She needs patience and consistency as well as a good dose of self-esteem building. Godwin is a stich. He mades us laugh and laugh! All he needs is hugs, kisses, balls of all sorts, lots of sleep and even more food. Grace is working on his left foot soccer skills and shooting!
Once things settle down at their place we are all hoping to get together and connect. I’ll definitely keep you updated on this family’s new chapter. The Vander Weide’s adoption is so inspiring. Their adoption has highlighted a different aspect in my mind of what it means to step out in faith……because…..they have literally started back over in the child rearing years. As I see it, this in itself is a huge sacrifice…..they were just a few years from having all teenagers and soon will be watching their first-born graduate high school. The selflessness of heading back into the early toddler and preschool years to do it all over again is just WOW to me! What an amazing story God is writing in their lives!
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