One of the ways that the Lord showcases His Sovereignty is through the timing of events. I absolutely delight in getting to experience this facet of God’s character because it is often through these divine appointments (the world calls them ‘coincidences’) that I feel God speaking so personally.
Not even a day had passed since the aunt had decided to not give either of our girls – Yaa and Adjoa - in adoption. And we received word from our agency on two other girls, sisters, that had just been brought to our in-country social worker’s orphanage. They were the approximate ages of 5 and 1.
With our agency, adoptive families are not matched with a referral (an orphaned child) until they – the adoptive family - are ‘paper-ready’. That means the adoptive family must have an approved homestudy, and then they go in line behind the other families who are waiting to be matched with their referrals. This avoids many issues that can happen in holding specific children for certain families who haven’t even taken the first steps in the adoption process.
Well, because we started this adoption back in August of last year, we are (and have been) ‘paper-ready’ for a few months. Interestingly, at this time, there are no other families in our agency’s program that are ‘paper-ready’ or who have set their preferences to accept two girls in these age ranges – except for us. When our Ghana coordinator gently mentioned this all to me on the phone my mind started running off with the thought of it…..Could it be that the Lord used Yaa and Adjoa to lead us to these other two girls? Are these other girls truly our daughters? I know for CERTAIN that we would have not started a Ghana adoption back in August if we hadn’t been led to Yaa and Adjoa. I know even more for certain that we would not have signed up to adopt 2 children at once if it weren’t for Yaa and Adjoa. All of our paperwork, our homestudy, and our I-600 pre-approval now has us approved to adopt 2 children – all spurred by Yaa and Adjoa. And furthermore – if any of these events had been even one week off – the new girls coming to the orphanage, the failed interview with the aunt and social welfare, etc, the timing wouldn’t have felt so meaningful.
I started praying about these thoughts. As I did, my heart was in a spin of confusion. I felt guilty to even be thinking about these other two girls when I had pictured Yaa and Adjoa as my daughters for months. I had especially already begun picturing Yaa with us in the everyday events, thinking of the friendship she and Jayla would have, planning my routine for her hair care, etc. I also had thought that the Lord already gave me her new name - so that felt strange in and of itself. My heart was certainly stinging in having all those little dreams for her taken away. Then to even think about replacing those dreams with new, unfamiliar faces – it seemed that my heart kept putting up a sign that said “spot already taken.”
Gently, however, the Lord continued to whisper to me about His Sovereignty over timing. Through a comment on my last adoption post…..
A lot of times I have thought that God brought us down a certain path to make his timing work out perfectly, and to bring us to where we needed to be in our hearts to accept his plan for us.
To the very next day reading this in my daily devotional…..
Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good, including the things you wish were different. Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time. Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway…
And then, just this week as I emailed our Ghana coordinator a few questions about these new girls – mainly wondering if the relinquishment process had already been completed – her response….
Your timing is interesting to say the least, as the relinquishment meeting for the girls just occurred today in Ghana. The girls' mother and the maternal head of family have relinquished the girls and agreed to adoption.
As this week comes to an end, I am convinced, confident, and have accepted that the Lord did purposefully lead us to this exact place, at this exact time. He foreknew that all of this was going to happen with Yaa and Adjoa, but, it had to happen this way so that He could get us to where we are supposed to be.
Coming to accept that, however, did not do anything about those spots in my heart that are already taken. But this did –
That would be a picture of our girls, Yaa and Adjoa, taken on Tuesday of this week by one of our friends who lives in the village. Seeing their heads freshly shaven, their bodies clean, sporting their little Iowa-made dresses, waving and smiling – that did my heart good. I know that their aunt who has come along is capable of meeting their needs. And, I know that Jesus doesn’t call me to only care for orphans that I bring into my home. We will still get to care for Yaa and Adjoa – it will just be in a different way than we had thought. And those spots in my heart feel taken because they are. I will always consider Yaa and Adjoa my daughters. But every mother knows, that when your next child comes, they do not replace spots in your heart that are already taken. Rather, your heart adds on more spots – each one unique, and each one its own.