To Whom Much is Given

Matthew 25:31-46

"When he finally arrives, blazing in beauty and all his angels with him, the Son of Man will take his place on his glorious throne. Then all the nations will be arranged before him and he will sort the people out, much as a shepherd sorts out sheep and goats, putting sheep to his right and goats to his left.

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation. And here's why:

I was hungry and you fed me,
I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
I was homeless and you gave me a room,
I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to me.'

"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'

"Then he will turn to the 'goats,' the ones on his left, and say, 'Get out, worthless goats! You're good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because—

I was hungry and you gave me no meal,
I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
I was homeless and you gave me no bed,
I was shivering and you gave me no clothes,
Sick and in prison, and you never visited.'

"Then those 'goats' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?'

"He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.'

"Then those 'goats' will be herded to their eternal doom, but the 'sheep' to their eternal reward."

There will come a day when I stand before God and I will give an account for the way I personally loved the overlooked or ignored. I cannot hand this responsibility off to church leaders or to our government. Jesus commands my personal involvement. When I picture these moments I see Jesus talking to me in the here and now. I see Him look me in the eyes and say…

“Janel, I blessed your womb and you got to feel the joyous miracle of bringing a life into this world. Two little lives that hold your genes. You get to look at them and see your own deep brown eyes, your awkwardly skinny legs and lanky frame, you get to watch them play and you see how I blessed them with the very gifts and talents that I gave you and Jake. You get to pass on your legacy, your family line. You watch their personality unfold and get the luxury of saying “You get that from your dad!” You see that the very gift of pregnancy in itself is just that….a gift. You get to see that life is precious, that I designed each and every heart beat for a purpose. Won’t you show My other children that they aren’t left in the dust? That their life is full of purpose too?”

“Janel, many of my children live behind concrete walls and fences, beds stacked high, and their caretakers come and go. Yes they’re getting food. Yes they’re getting care from adults. Yes they have toys that have been donated to their home that they can play with. Yes they’re off the streets. But they lack one thing. A mommy and daddy. They lack the healing, the confidence, the love that only comes by having a true family. Dear Janel, I let you be a mommy. It was my power that blessed your womb and gave you that glorious name. Won’t you please be a mommy to my children who day after day wake up without this deep need being met? Don’t worry that your insufficient. Don’t worry about the details. Yes, you are weak, but My power will sustain you. I will pick out the children I have designed for your family, and I will lead you to them. Will you take this step of faith and trust Me? Will you care for My children?”

 

“Dear Janel, remember, you are living in a fallen world destroyed by sin. Many of my children are being abused and neglected. I’ve designed them to know Me as Savior, Redeemer, Refuge. But no one has told them about Me yet. They have deep needs. On the surface their needs start off as physical. Their empty bellies need food. Their bodies are diseased and infested because of the water they drink. They have no money to go to school. Deeper still, they need to know My truths. They need to know the hope of heaven, and how they can get there. If you reach out to them, I will let My light shine through you so that they will see Me. Won’t you be my hands and feet?”

 

“Janel, I give you and your family 3 meals a day. You sit at a king-sized table and dine on the choicest of foods. On holidays I give you the means to have fellowship over dishes filled to the brim and platters stacked high. But many of my children have acquired a taste for mush and rodents because that is all they can afford. Even more of my children don’t know when their next meal will be. Won’t you please feed my sheep?”

 

“Janel, I’ve given you a husband who provides for you and is your strength. He’s a leader in your home, he doesn’t treat you poorly, or neglect his family. Many of My daughters have been left by their husbands. They struggle day to day, trying to do it all yet falling short when the sun goes down. Their children suffer and My daughter’s die on the inside because they haven’t the means or the tools or the know-how to provide. Won’t you come alongside of them? Won’t you empower them? Won’t you sit and listen to their story, and tell them about hope everlasting?”

 

“Janel, when your children are sick you can hop in your car and see a well-educated doctor within a matter of 5 minutes. You even have preventative care so that your children don’t get sick. Many of My children become sick simply because of the surroundings of their environment. Even the smallest of sicknesses can become fatal because they have no money to get medicine, no money for bus fare to the hospital. They are helpless. I will give you opportunities to help them. Are you listening when I pull on your heart to act?”

 

“Janel, I gave you the means to build a house with wood, and beautiful tile, and cushiony carpeting, and warm insulated walls. Many of My children build with sticks, mud, and scraps. Their houses don’t keep out the bugs, the sickness, the disease. Their roof leaks, their floors are dirty. Their surroundings smell of urine and feces. Some of my children have no home at all. I gave you a house with many bedrooms. Won’t you open your door to them?”

 

This I know, I will have no excuse on that day. So much I have been given and not to hoard to myself, not to indulge, not even to save and build up so I can have an easy life someday, not to hide away my children - my family - my things - my money because I need to save to get more, better, bigger. No. I hear Him say OPEN your arms, OPEN your doors, OPEN your hearts. And when you do, there you will find Me.

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. ~Luke 12:48~

Guest Post on Foster Care

I know not everyone has a husband that has so much access to youth in need like I do. In fact, outside of our adoption of Justice, every single person who has stayed at our house for long periods of time have come through the means of my husband’s youth basketball program (and the Kingdom Hoops hosting program with Ghana). So, I think our situation is pretty uncommon. For that reason, I asked a friend to write a guest post for our blog regarding foster care, which I am posting below. For all intensive purposes, I feel like Jake and I are doing ‘unofficial’ foster care parenting in some sort of strange way. There are a lot of similarities, and I think that is why my heart gets so excited to hear about foster parenting stories. For those of you out there who feel that you could be a blessing to youth in need by opening your home, you may need to take steps to head directly into the path of those who are broken. Signing up to become a licensed foster care parent is one way in which you can do that. For those of you living in Iowa, that journey starts here: http://www.iakids.org/

Also, there is NO COST to become a foster parent. Everything is funded through the Department of Human Services. WOW! Adoption through foster care is also completely inexpensive compared to traditional adoptions through an agency. I might have another post coming up soon about adopting through foster care.

So, below is the post from our friends, Tim & Christy McCollough. This post was actually written for their blog last fall after a group of us were able to speak on adoption and foster care at our church’s family ministry. This is a synopsis of their speaking segment….if you go to the audio message that she refers to, you will also get to hear Jake and I speak on our adoption journey, as well as a few others from our church, and also a family’s experience on hosting a student from Rosebud.

On Foster Parenting and Adoption by Tim & Christy McCollough....

Two weeks ago Tim and I were given the opportunity to speak on a panel about foster care and adoption at our church's family ministry meeting for parents. I thought I would post a rough script of what we said for any of you who might be interested. If you'd rather listen to the talk, visit our church website, scroll down, and click on the talk entitled Adoption and Foster Care 11/17.

We were asked to share why we decided to become foster parents, why we are considering adoption, what some of our initial fears were, what has sacrificial love looked like in our situation, how has God come through for us.

Why did you decide to do foster care?

Early on in our dating relationship, we went to a conference down in Texas with The Salt Company, called Destinations. The emphasis of the conference was missions, specifically on following through on the call God gave to Abraham in Genesis 12:2-3. (God blessed Abraham so that he could bless other people through him.) Since then we have felt strongly that we have been blessed…so we should be a blessing to others, and have prayed for years together about what that would/should look like.

When we read passages like Luke 12:48, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more,” we see ourselves in the category of those who have been given much, and we know that because of this, God expects us to use our resources for His glory and His kingdom, rather than simply our own comfort and pleasure.

About 3 years ago we moved here, and bought a 4 bedroom house even though we were a family of only 3 at the time. Tim really wanted to fill up the extra basement bedroom, with a college student renter or something. I (selfishly!) really just wanted an empty guestroom!! One Sunday at Cornerstone there was a flyer in the bulletin about a foster care meeting…and the Holy Spirit did a number on my heart. I mentioned the idea (very hesitantly) to Tim, and he took the idea and ran with it. A few weeks later we were signed up for training.

Why are we considering adoption?

Two years ago I (Tim) came across an organization through a Facebook friend that had an incredible mission statement and general philosophy regarding what a Christian response should be to abortion. “The Zoe Foundation exists to further the cause of adoption as a positive alternative to abortion in America.”

Randy Bohlender, board member of The Zoe Foundation and missionary with The International House of Prayer, explains it like this: "…in order to truly be "pro-life," we should be willing to step up and provide a mother considering abortion with another option for her child. Mothers who are considering abortion will be much more likely to listen to the gospel message from us, as believers, if they see us willing to put our actions where our mouths are, and not just tell them to give their babies life, but offer to raise those babies for them."

We love that this group doesn't just place children in homes, but seeks to place them in believers' homes. They don’t just take care of the physical needs of orphans, they also share the gospel with them and their mothers, and help take care of the needs of these mothers who choose life. They work alongside churches…who should be leading this charge rather than the state!

All along, the primary driving conviction that has been leading us to prayerfully consider adoption is the simple fact that in order to truly be "pro-life," we should be willing to step up and provide a mother considering abortion with another option for her child. If abortion truly were eradicated, 3700 babies would need a home EACH DAY in the U.S. Are we willing to say, “please don’t abort your baby, we will take care of him or her?” Which is why these words from Russell Moore’s Adopted for Life have really resonated with us:

"Mothers who are considering abortion will be much more likely to listen to the gospel message from us, as believers, if they see us willing to put our actions where our mouths are, and not just tell them to give their babies life, but offer to raise those babies for them."

"Not every believer will stand praying outside an abortion clinic. Not every believer will take a pregnant teenager into his or her guest bedroom. Not every believer is called to adopt children. But every believer is called to recognize Jesus in the face of his little brothers and sisters when he decides to show up in their lives, even if it interrupts everything else." (p 81)

"What if a mighty battalion of Christian parents would open their hearts and their homes to unwanted infants--infants some so-called "clinics" would like to see carried out with the medical waste? It might mean that next Christmas there'll be one more stocking at the chimney at your house--a new son or daughter who escaped the abortionist's knife or the orphanage's grip to find at your knee the grace of a carpenter's Son." (p83-4)

What were some of your fears going into it?

Our main fear going into foster parenting was the effect it would have on our biological children: that a foster child would injure or abuse them, or influence them in negative ways, by modeling bad behavior, bad language, or by taking away our attention and causing them to act out.

We prayed a lot about this, and talked a lot about this, and primarily it came down to us taking a step out in faith and trusting that God has an even greater vested interest in protecting our children than we do. And knowing that it is SO GOOD for our kids to grow up witnessing us sharing our faith, and living our faith, by caring for these kids, every day of their lives. It became as much of us doing foster care for the benefit of our own kids, rather than in spite of what it might ‘do to’ our kids.

In addition, we try to make wise decisions about what kinds of kids we take in. We’ve said ‘no’ to probably 25 out of 30 calls from IowaKidsNet over the last year, asking us to take children into our home, either because the timing wasn’t right or we weren’t equipped to handle their specific behaviors, or because they didn’t match our preferences. We choose to only take girls, since we have young girls. We feel it wouldn’t be safe to expose our girls to older boys who may try acting out physically or sexually towards them. We also don't take kids who are physically aggressive, or fire-starters, to name just a few of the things on our list!

Our other fear was that we would take a child in who would act out or not do what we asked, and we would have no idea how to handle it. And honestly, this happens all the time! But God continues to give us the grace we need for each and every situation. We are in totally over our heads right now, but we have friends and family rallying around us, helping out where they can, and it has driven us to our knees in prayer. It’s exactly where we are supposed to be. Time and time again, when we are overwhelmed, things just “work out.” God clearly has a hand in that.

What has the idea of sacrificial love looked like within your situation....i.e. what sacrifices has your family had to make to do this? (And how God has come through for you?)

Foster parenting is definitely inconvenient. We have less free time. We are expending more emotional and mental energy than we normally would have to, trying to meet the needs of the teenage girl living with us. Our personal space is invaded. Our kids have had less sleep, and thus, so have we. We have been stolen from, lied to, cussed at, disrespected, insulted, and our personal property has been damaged. Logistically it’s one more mouth to feed. (It’s more work for cooking, but the food is paid for since state foster/adoption situations are subsidized. If you are at all considering adoption but really really can’t afford it, this is a great place to start!)

Most notably, we’ve brought spiritual warfare into our home. As soon as our current placement moved in, (who is most definitely not a believer in Christ,) our 3-year-old daughter’s night terrors ramped up like never before. It has driven us to our knees in prayer. Every night now, after they are asleep I sneak into Audrey's bedroom and pray over her, out loud, in the name of Jesus, and over our house, and for Norah, and for our foster daughter, not because I just want to, or feel like I should, but I have finally realized that I NEED to. And Audrey’s night terrors have stopped. It has been such a great, physical, in-your-face reminder every day that we are in a battle, on the front lines, in fact; and it is not against flesh and blood. And the souls of children are at stake.

Daily this experience is helping to refine us. We are learning about God’s unconditional love for us as we attempt to show these kids (who have never experienced even normal human parental love or stability), not only healthy love and normal family dynamics, but the unconditional love of Christ.

This current experience has really driven home some of the messages from the 1 John series that our church is currently studying. For me (Christy) it has been convicting to be face to face with the reality of loving someone who doesn't necessarily love me back, every day. And to daily ask God for, and rely on Him to provide, grace to me so that I can offer grace to her. And I have finally started to realize what God sees in me, a sinner, and yet He loves me anyway.

For me (Tim) it has been a lesson in learning a little bit about what it meant for God to sacrifice His own Son for someone that was not in His family, and who sinned against Him every day. It is also a chance to live the heart of Jesus out in front of these kids, many of whom have been burned by hypocritical Christians for their whole lives. We have the chance to fulfill Jesus' commandment in Matthew 25:31-46, to feed, clothe, and invite ‘the least of these’ into our homes, every day. And we are finding out that our lives are impacted as much as theirs are. Foster parenting truly has taught me the Gospel anew. These children, when they first come into our homes, don’t love us, don’t know us, and don’t really want to be there. We are making (small) sacrifices in our lives to try and love them. And it is hard. It is easy to love my wife and kids (most of the time), but to love a stranger, who doesn’t want anything to do with me, is a whole new story… and yet that is exactly what God did for us.

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Rom. 5:6-8

Conclusion:

If you think about it, we as Christians should be ashamed that the state foster care system even exists. We (the Church) are the ones called to care for the orphans and widows. (James 1:27) In neglecting this command, we have left this work to a secular world. (And as a sidenote, isn't it interesting that this passage about caring for orphans comes immediately on the heels of James' admonition to be doers of the word, not merely hearers who delude themselves?)

There are on average 3,400 kids per month in foster care in the state of Iowa, and 600 kids waiting to be adopted. According to Google, there are 3528 churches (of all denominations) in Iowa. You do the math. There are a lot of foster parents out there who are great people, but they are not believers. Think of the impact we could have on the kingdom of God if Christians stepped up to this task!

* * *

To hear more from Tim & Christy, you can follow their blog at http://tim-and-christy.blogspot.com/ To read more of their segments on foster care go to the labels section on their side bar and click on Foster Parenting.

People Are Hurting

There I sat a few days ago in our church’s meeting room. I was there to learn about our soon adventure coming this fall of hosting a student from the Rosebud Reservation in South Dakota. I sat waiting for the meeting to start. A friend walked in. At first glance she saw me and laughed, “Oh, I should have known you would be here,” she said. “You’re taking in another one?”

I am taken aback by the implications of her tone. But I smile anyway and say, “Yep.” Because she doesn’t yet know what I know. I know what God has opened my eyes up to over the past year. The helplessness, the injustices, the exploitations, the utter darkness…all played out in the lives of humans. And I can’t ignore it. I can’t ignore the tugs at my heart. I know God can use me if I just have open arms and an open front door to the situations that He brings. And recently, Rosebud hosting was what He brought. Jake and I know nothing about Native Americans, and nothing about life on ‘The Rez’. But we will learn. I sit through the meeting. I hear about the hopelessness on the reservation. The alcoholism, the drug use, the sexual abuse, the high rate of teen pregnancy, suicides, and school drop outs, the gang pressure….the cycles of generations and generations that continue on. There seems to be no escape from their dreadful inheritance of family bondage. And I hear God’s whisper.

People are hurting. Do something.

The informational meeting ends. I look at my friend. With tears in her eyes she says, “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“What’s holding you back?” I say.

“Fear.”

“Fear of the unknown? Like what sort of child/situation you would get?”

“No.” Silence. And she gazes ahead.

“Fear that you are inadequate?”

She smiles through her tears and looks at me. “Yes.”

“You are inadequate,” I say. “We all are. But God can still use us. He will equip you to accomplish His work, but it won’t be comfortable. And it won’t be easy.”

We talk some more, and then head home.

* * *

Our empty downstairs bedroom hasn’t been empty now for about 4 weeks. A young man who needed a second chance at life sought out Jake for help to get back on track. He’ll be staying with us until the end of summer. Jake committed to helping him with one stipulation - If you’re serious about changing, come live with us. Get out of the environment you are in, and start over. And he did. Another young man, another wake-up call. More pain, more rough situations, more sad stories - played out in the life of a human. My eyes are peeled back more. I hear you Lord.

People are hurting. Do something.

For 20 years of his life, this young man has not known the love of a family. Yes his family was around, sort of. But now they are not accessible. He began following down their same path but then something inside of him sparked and he realized he didn’t have to live that way. He didn’t have to follow in their footsteps. He could create a different path for himself. A different life. And he is ready to change. The problem, though, is that his heart has been damaged. He’s lived the consequences of his family’s poor decisions and a few of his. And it’s hard. It’s hard when you want a second chance, but people don’t believe in you. It’s hard when you need help but have no where to turn. It’s hard when people look at you and judge you for what they see on the outside, especially when they don’t understand the torment you are going through on the inside.

People are hurting. Do something.

“Would you believe that none of my family ever came to any of my basketball games? Not one. They were never there to watch me play,” he says.

People are hurting. Do something.

“Do you think I could have all of this someday?” he asks Jake. “A house, a wife, a good job, kids?”

“Why couldn’t you?” Jake answers.

“Where I’m from, this is pretty uncommon,” he replies.

He’s nervous for 3 days straight as Easter weekend approaches. He knows he will be spending a lot of time in a family setting. He’s timid, unsure what a day at my great-grandparent’s house will entail. He makes it through lunch. He gets sadder and sadder as the day goes on. Dinner comes. He heads outside. It’s too much for him. The laughter, the teasing, the jokes, the stories at the table, the time spent together. It’s all a reminder to him. A reminder of what he didn’t have growing up.

People are hurting. Do something.

Hours later Easter Sunday is over and we head to the car. My grandma and grandpa stand on the back step and wave as they watch Jake and I try to corral everyone to load up into the car. JJ has a crying attack as he discovers that he left his brand new shoes in the house. He jumps out of the car and sprints back inside. Sam and Tyran argue with each other over who is going to sit where in the car, and neither of them will get in. I get Jayla buckled in. She turns and says to me, “Mommy, I have to go potty.” We watch as my grandma and grandpa giggle at the pure chaos of the simple task at hand - just getting in the car.

I turn to him and say, “They just love this - my grandpa and grandma. Look at the smiles on their faces.”

He watches intently and says thoughtfully, “That must be so crazy for your grandpa to get to watch his grand-daughter grow up and have children…..he gets to know his great-grandkids.” The quietness in his voice burdens my heart.

People are hurting. Do something.

He’s silent on the way home. “What’s the hardest part of all this?” Jake asks.

“I’m uncomfortable. Everything I am doing is hard.”

The emotions of the day hit him. The tears come. And there’s no stopping them.

“It’s supposed to be uncomfortable,” Jake says. “Living for Christ isn’t easy. Just ask his disciples.”

“Sure, you can say that. You have a family to fall back on. You have the joy of coming home to your kids and your wife. I don’t have a family.”

“But you do. You’re in the car with them. God knew that you needed a family. And he gave you one.” The conversation continues and then ends. Jake turns the music up.

Something here is wrong, there are children without homes, but we just move along to take care of our own, there's so much suffering just outside our door, a cry so deafening, we just can't ignore…

The lyrics read my mind. People are hurting. Do something.

My heart cries out for this young man. But I know something He doesn’t. I know the past CAN be overcome. I am living proof. He doesn’t know what the family sitting there enjoying Easter dinner has overcome. My mom and I know what it is like to be left all alone. We were there many years ago. We know. And my grandpa that he was encouraged by? He knows too. His mom up and left he and his sister at a very young age. Shortly after, his dad was gone too. He was raised by his aunt and grandma. He knows the pain. The reality of our world is that human relationships fail. We treat each other imperfectly because we sin. We have broken relationships and broken families because we live in a fallen world. But the past does not define us, nor are we enslaved to it. My very own family is overcoming the chains of brokenness. We have found freedom. How?

Because there is One who can be trusted because He has said He will NEVER leave us or forsake us. There is One who loves us unconditionally, no matter the circumstances, no matter our mistakes and poor choices. There is One in whom we can take refuge until the storm passes. There is One who provides a relationship that gives ultimate peace, ultimate fulfillment, and ultimate hope. This is the God I serve. The God of second chances. As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us (Psalm 103:12). The God who seeks out the lost. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost (Luke 19:10). The God who brings new life. I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10). The God who makes all things new. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old is gone, the new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17). And this is why I will say yes to God again, and again, and again. Yes, God, I will open my home to those you bring. Yes, Lord, I will bring outsiders in and treat them like family….like they are my own flesh and blood. I hear you Lord.

People are hurting. Do something.

I will say yes because of what I know – there are more young men and women out there like he who is living in our spare bedroom. And there are more Sam’s and more Justice’s. More and more and more. And they don't need a beautifully decorated bedroom in my middle-income family home. They don’t need elaborate meals. They don’t need perfect parents who know exactly how to respond to every situation that comes up. They don’t need every word spoken to be beautifully arranged with advice and wisdom. And they don’t need someone who is going to love them only if they change or get their act together. No. They need a relationship with their Heavenly Father. And in the meantime, they need to know that someone cares. They need someone to love them for who they are today….not for who they could become, but for who they are right now. I know because I’ve been there. I know because I serve a great God who transforms lives and sets the captives free. I've experienced His power. And I want to continue to experience it. Again, and again, and again.