Kael's Story: Part 2

On a Sunday morning last summer Dawn came up to me after our church service and said she had an idea, and she wondered if our non-profit foundation could help. In her words….

One thing I love to do is run and I spent several afternoons in 2010 running with the boys in our Burley stroller. Both the boys loved being outside and stroller rides. One day in May 2011, I was running and God had put it on my mind several times to set up a race in Kael’s name to help honor his memory and do good for someone or something. That morning as I ran, I asked God “what do you want me to do with this?” Then He answered me, “I gave Kael parents who loved him and took care of him. I want you to help the children I have already put on this earth have loving parents too. Use this race to help families who want to adopt and love children.”

WOW. Even more interesting, and what Dawn didn’t yet know, was that over the summer months God had started fueling my own brain to try and find a way to help adoptive families raise money for their adoptions. I thought that it would be great someday if our Kingdom Cares Foundation could raise money and give out adoption grants (I’ve been inspired by 3 different foundations that do some form of this, you can check them out here and here and here). Of course I knew this was a long-term goal, but I had started thinking of ways that our foundation could eventually grow into serving this purpose. You can imagine my excitement when Dawn shared her heart with me on this day.

From that day, plans for the race have been rolling ever since. Here are some specifics so you can save the date….

Kael Man 5K Run/ Walk
Saturday, July 7th, 2012 at 8:00 am
Ada Hayden Park, Ames, IA

Dawn is currently setting up a website for race registration - I’ll post it on the blog as soon as it is ready. For now you can keep track of things on the race Facebook page here. Dawn and Derek will use an application process to distribute the race proceeds/donations as grants to families who need financial help in their adoption process.

I SO wish you could meet this couple in person. In the midst of their tragedy I’ve told Dawn that many times I’ve worried about what words to say to them, or how to comfort them when I see them. Yet, when you are around them you can FEEL this tremendous peace about their spirit….it’s like they almost comfort you. The Bible calls it ‘peace that surpasses all understanding’ (Phillipians 4:7). That’s what I feel when I am around them. Though they are grieving and experiencing such awful heartache, I know that they find rest in God's Sovereignty. He is their refuge, He is their comfort, He is their strength. Like Dawn said - God put Kael on this earth for 11 ½ months for a reason. I think we are only seeing the beginning of how God intends to continue to use Kael’s life to impact many for His Kingdom.

Kael's Story: Part 1

Today I have the honor of introducing you to my friends Derek & Dawn Grooters. Theirs is a story of suffering and tragedy. They have walked through the valley of the shadow of death in a way that no parent would ever want to experience. And yet, as they share their story of their little man Kael, in their words you will see something. You will see their unwavering hope in our God who gives and takes away. The same God who brought them to this has picked them up and is literally carrying them through…they feel it, and all that know them or meet them in person can clearly see it. Dawn has said that it has taken them awhile to come to terms with sharing their heart break out loud, but by doing just that they have seen God work in so many people. Today, you will hear part 1 of Kael’s story. Tomorrow you will see how God is using Kael’s story to help orphans around the world to come home to their forever families…

In Dawn’s words…

When 2011 started out, we had no way of knowing what God had planned in our lives. We started out January 1st, 2011 with 2 beautiful boys and we thought our life was so full. Kyler, our oldest son was 3 ½ years old and our 2nd son Kael was 11 ½ months old, he would turn one year old on the 26th of January.

But everything changed so quickly for us on January 7th, 2011. Our son, Kael passed away during a nap at his daycare shortly after he fell asleep. Kael was a healthy little boy and so full of life. We still don’t know medically why Kael’s little heart stopped that day, but we do know that God wanted to take Kael to heaven that day and we know that God has a purpose. We may never fully understand why our family had to go through this but in the grand scheme of things, our understanding won’t help us heal. We have seen God work through each one of us and he has helped us touch so many people through our faith and God’s strength he has provided for us. There are so many stories we have heard from people that have been inspired by our faith, but truly it is God working through us. There is no way we can get through each day and keep going without God’s continued strength and grace he provides for us.

Before I go on, let me tell you a little bit about our boys. Kyler is all boy and very energetic. He loves to run around, play with construction trucks, legos and loves everything orange. Kyler is just full of spirit. Kyler helped to keep us going this past year, and his childlike faith was an inspiration to us. We experienced several Holy Spirit moments with Kyler; it was so neat to see God working in Kyler as well. During the first few months after Kael’s death, Kyler would randomly sing Jesus loves me and that made us feel like God was right there with us in that moment.

Kael was our laidback son. He loved watching his brother and Kyler made him laugh more than anyone. Kael was crawling and had just learned how to walk. He had bright blue eyes and always smiled so much. He was a happy and content baby who loved to be held. He was such a joy to be around and his smile would light up a room.

About 1 ½ months after Kael passed away, we found out we were pregnant. This was a bittersweet moment. We were happy to bring another baby into our family, but it made us miss Kael more. We knew God had a plan for this baby and she is a gift that has helped our faith grow even more. God is good. She is an example of that and we are putting our faith in God to help us parent our children with the faith that God will take care of them. The birth of our baby also gave us something to look forward to especially on the dark days. Grieving the loss of my son and experiencing a pregnancy was not easy, but on the days and moments that were full of sadness, they were interrupted by kicks from a little girl who reminded me God is with me. Our beautiful baby girl, Kella Faith, arrived on November, 10th, 2011 and she has brought us so much joy. If you are a parent, you know that the more children you have, the more your heart grows and expands to love all your children. And that is what happened for us. Kella does not replace Kael or the love we have for him but she added much more love to our hearts. She is a blessing and we are so happy she is part of our family.

As we look back, before Kael passed away I know that God was preparing us for what we were going to experience in several ways. I knew how quickly the baby stage would be over so I always held Kael a little longer, hugged him a little closer and kissed him a little more. I just knew after having my first baby, Kyler, that the time goes so quickly so I was going to savor it with Kael. I think God put that on my heart so I would take advantage of the time I had with him on this earth. The night before Kael passed away, we finished his 1 year birthday party invitations and we made chocolate cupcakes and Kael got to eat one. It was his first cupcake and I was so glad he got to have a birthday cake here with us before he was gone. The morning of Kael’s passing I was listening to the Bible on CD as I drove. The last story I heard that morning was the story of Abraham sacrificing Isaac. As I listened to the story, I kept thinking how hard it would be for a parent to sacrifice their child. It is so incomprehensible and then I thought about how God sacrificed his son for us. That afternoon, I got the call about Kael. God was preparing me.

As we look back this year, there are so many events and ways God has helped us walk with Him through our grief. We were Christians before Kael passed away and afterwards we relied and trusted in God to carry us through this time. We never intended to inspire people by walking in faith but that is what happened.

Derek’s Lieutenant was the one to call me and tell me that Kael was in the hospital and that it didn’t look good. He was greatly affected by going through this with us. His family went to a church but never felt challenged in their faith. After attending Kael’s memorial service and watching our faith in God, he decided that he wanted to attend our church, Cornerstone Church. They jumped full into Cornerstone and their 2 kids absolutely loved the D6 kid’s ministry and Sunday school. Their family just told me how much their lives have changed and how much their children’s faith has changed in one year. They never would have imagined such a positive change in their family.

We just recently received a note from one of our pastors at church that told us about a junior high kid that accepted Jesus into his heart because his family started coming to Cornerstone after attending Kael’s memorial service. We don’t know who the family or child is, but we are so thankful God is using us to help people come to Jesus.

Last year, I was a sales rep and one of my customers was deeply affected by Kael’s story. In her church, she was asked to speak one Sunday. She asked me if she could tell her church our story and inspire people to live for God. As we sat in the back of the church we watched the tears flow and prayed that God would change hearts in this community as well. We initially said that if 1 person would become a Christian because of Kael’s life then this is worth it. We have seen this multiplied over and over.

Our story is still being written. The month of January has been hard for us. We just made it through what I call Kael’s Heaven Day. That day and the days leading up to the 7th of January were hard but God gave us what we needed to get through that time. We grieved the loss of our son but we celebrated the work God has done in our lives this last year. God put Kael on this earth for 11 ½ months for a reason. We are so thankful for the time we had with him and he changed our lives for the better. Kael’s life has brought so much glory to God and we want to continue that in any way we can. God is using his life to continue to change lives and though we will never know the full extent of what God is doing with Kael’s life for others, we want to continue to be a part of it.

To be continued tomorrow….

Adoption Needs in Ghana

I have two specific needs I wanted to share about today that have pulled on my heart. These are current needs within the Ghana program of the adoption agency that we are using: Adoption Advocates International (AAI) [http://www.adoptionadvocates.org/Africa/Ghana/index.php]

1) AAI Ghana Program is in need of families who are interested in adopting children over six years old! They currently have no families approved to adopt who are waiting for older children. Wait times could be short! Larger families (6+ children) can apply on a case by case basis!

2) AAI is hoping to find a family for Baby A in Ghana.....
Baby A is less than a year old. She has been diagnosed with microcephaly (small head size) and cerebral palsy. There is a concern of cortical blindness. She may also have hearing issues. And yet, she is beautiful and just as much in need of a mommy and daddy as any other child! Her fees will be reduced. AAI is looking for a homestudy-approved family. Please contact anita@adoptionadvocates.org if you think Baby A may be your future daughter! [And please help AAI spread the word!]

UN-Wanted

“You’re a mistake.”

“You’re a demon-child.”

This is what she has been told, by a man who calls himself her father.

A man who she so desperately wants to please, but fails to again and again.

He never wanted her. He tells her this face to face. He tells her this often. She buries her so-said worthlessness deep inside, and lives up to his low expectations because that’s what he says she’ll amount to afterall….nothing.

“You don’t understand!” she tells us with her heart exposed. “You don’t know what it’s like to have someone tell you over and over that you were a mistake! You don’t know how it feels.” Sobbing. Emptied. Rejected.

The one time that I am thankful for my past is now. In this conversation. I do know how it feels. Mine was a silent abandonment, not an out-loud one like hers. But still a big, fat, UN-Wanted. Just to hear an “I love you” from him. Just to have a father’s arms wrap you up and protect you from the crazy world. Just to feel valued in his eyes so you don’t have to go looking for it in other men when you are too young, too vulnerable, too needy for affection and worth. Just to hear him say, “You can be anything you want to be. You can do it. I believe in you,” and to see the confidence in his eyes. Just to have him say to your date, “Have her home by 11:30pm – or else.” Just to feel the comfort that he cares and wants to protect you like all good fathers want to protect their daughters. Just a phone call. Just a birthday card….just….anything….

Missing pieces.

Broken heart.

Scarred, damaged, and full of baggage for all future relationships.

Yet, there is hope.

Something she refuses to embrace yet, but maybe, just maybe this is how she will begin to SEE.

You see, she can be adopted. No not an earthly, physical adoption. A spiritual one.

“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6:18
He can be her Father.

He’ll receive her with open arms and rejoice with His angels in heaven over their relationship. In the same way I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents. Luke 15:10

She’ll find in Him that she was certainly no mistake. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 14-16

In fact He has great plans for her, a purpose for her life. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11


He won’t get drunk and in his stupor tell her how worthless she is. In fact, He’s gone to great lengths to show her His love. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

He sure ain’t the leaving kind. I will never leave you nor forsake you. Joshua 1:5

While others push her away, His arms wait for her. Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Psalm 27:10

These are His promises. This is His character. Whisperings of ultimate worth. I created you. I want a relationship with you. I love you. Leave your life of sin behind, and thirst no more. Rest. Peace. No striving. No hiding. Guidance into purpose. Strong arms of refuge. Complete fulfillment that enables healthy relationships with others. Protection......

She looks out the window, waiting for the mail to come. As soon as it does she runs out to the box, hopeful, expectant. Each and every day she is the first to open the mailbox. Day after day disappointment and sunkeness await. And she comes back in. “My Dad said he’s going to write me. His letter should be coming soon.”

She will wait. And wait. And wait for that letter. For just a tiny spark, a tiny showing that he thinks of her.

And He will wait - her Heavenly Father. He will wait and wait and wait for her change of heart. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9). A book full of letters He has written her. Unfailing love He offers her. An awful-beautiful death on a cross ready to purchase her life and grant an adoption. An adoption unlike any other. An adoption that would give her the right to call the King of the universe “Dad”….

...you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. Romans 8:15-16If she messes up she won’t find Him keeping a record of her wrongs to hold it against her. As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

$howing Up Big Time!

Ohhhhh my is God showing up BIG TIME to provide the finances for our adoption!!!!! Honestly, I am not kidding, as I wrote about here when we signed up to adopt back in August we had scrapped together $319.88 into our adoption fund over the summer. Our application fee for our agency was $300 which we paid and sent in on August 26th, leaving us with $19.88 in our account. From there God has been POURING out His grace and filling up our adoption fund in ways that we had never planned. As I eluded to in the above post, between donations from the churches Jake spoke at, to donations sent to us by our blog readers, to friends handing me checks, to our adoption tax refund being issued, we were able to pay the following fees for our adoption between August to November 2011:

8/26/11…$300…Agency application fee
9/20/11…$30…fingerprints for background checks
10/18/11…$3000…Agency processing fee
10/18/11…$1650…Homestudy fee and pre-pay of post-placement reports
10/29/11…$30…DCI checks for our Rosebud students
11/1/11…$70…Order of certified originals birth/marriage certificates
11/19/11…$890…U.S. Dept of Homeland Security for I-600A approval & biometrics

Then Christmas came. And once again, we were blown away by God’s faithfulness. Between a donation by another church that Jake had spoken at to our family and friends giving us money as Christmas gifts we were able to add $900 more to our adoption fund!

Last week when I went to Jake’s gym to pick Justice up from practice one of Jake’s 6th grade girl players slipped me a $50 bill with a smile and said “This is for your adoption fund from me and my sister.” :) Humbled.

Then, on Monday morning Jake went through a stack of mail that had piled up on the table since before last weekend. As I wandered into the kitchen he handed me an envelope and said, “This will start your day off this morning…” I pulled a card out of an envelope, opened it, and a HUGE wad of cash fell out and I caught sight of $100 BILLS! MANY $100 BILLS! In a split second I was tearing up and I started to read the hand-written card….

Hi friends!

So, I made a little request for Christmas this year. :) And boy oh boy did my family come through! Brian and I have been so blessed this year and we received so much for the wedding. I was really searching for a way around receiving more gifts. And what do you know, a little blog post from you gave me just the idea I needed! And so, with my heart overflowing with joy that I get to do this, here is $670 to add to your adoption fund!!!!!! WOOHOOOO!!! My family is so awesome! Praise God!

~Kellee~

WOW!

WOW!

WOW!

As I stood there in the kitchen holding that card and wad of cash I was left asking myself - Seriously, who does this? WHAT SELFLESSNESS! Of course our sweet friend Kellee would never want the applause for this, and in fact after I emailed her a thank you she emailed me back and said ~ “It wasn’t me, it was all because of Jesus, to God be the glory!!!!” How can we not shout an AMEN to the way that God stirs hearts when it comes to adoption?!?!?!?!

And yesterday, one of my blog friends emailed me to share how she wants to contribute to our adoption fund by way of her beautiful photography. Check out her Take Heart sessions just in time for Valentine’s Day….the sessions are just $25. You get digital images that you can purchase or order prints from, as well as 40 mini Valentines. She’s giving all proceeds/donations to our adoption fund. It’s just amazing the ways that God is working through others to bless us….we just had no idea any of these things were coming!!!!!

On top of all this, God continues to bless Jake’s side-business of individual training that he started at the end of September to help fund our adoption. He is putting in lots of extra hours on top of his already filled schedule of practices, tournaments, meetings and office work. But, it’s paying off. The amount varies from month to month, but on average he is making anywhere from $1000-$2000 a month for our adoption fund. We had NO IDEA that his individual training was going to be this big of a hit, but so awesome to think that God knew this would happen.

Yesterday I deposited the recent cash we had received and right now the balance of our adoption account is sitting at $8,197.31. I stared at the number on the deposit slip for a good 30 seconds just marveling at what God has done. Less than 6 months ago that was a two-digit number. God. Is. Faithful.

Our next big chunk due to our agency will be $3000 coming up in the next few weeks, and then $5000 due shortly after that before court. Both of these amounts are part of the foreign program fee which pays for the cost of dossier documents gathered on the Ghana side, social worker’s wages, court appointments, etc. We will also begin paying foster care fees of $150 per month per child once that transition has been completed. The rest of the fees will be due after court.

What can I say? Every day as this money comes out of the woodwork there is just more and more evidence of God’s heart for the orphan - as if His commands in the Bible weren't enough evidence. I trust no one but Him to continue to make a way for us.