Sam Update

We have been so fortunate to have Sam get to stay with us the past two weekends!!!!!

Things have changed, but when Sam is with us it feels just like old times. The adjustment for Sam hasn’t been an easy one. He has struggled to maintain a positive attitude in the midst of everything, and I can’t say that I would have a great reaction either if I was his age. But the good thing for Sam and I is that Jake’s expectations do not give into this sort of ‘poor me’ mindset. One thing that Jake always preaches to the kids in his program is being able to handle adversity. How will you react when you are faced with hard things? Things you did not expect or foresee to happen? What will you do when life doesn’t go your way? Even if your circumstances were not your choice, your reaction and attitude are. For these reasons Jake is constantly riding Sam’s case now, but in a good way. Sam has been giving a little extra attitude back to Jake lately….I think because he knows we aren’t ‘in charge’ anymore. But even so, I still see that Jake’s advice to Sam is taken to heart because I’ll see Sam react to things differently after Jake has talked with him. It’s funny how much I learn from listening to Jake ‘reason’ with Sam or any of the other kids in his program for that matter. He always knows what the heart issue is and how to address it. I love that!

A big change for Sam has also been in the area of school. We had some kids over at our house this last weekend along with Sam. At dinner they started talking about this one kid who has been suspended from Jake’s program because he had a 1.8 GPA last semester. Some of the other guys started making fun of this kid and Sam stopped them and said, “Hey, that used to be how I did in school. Before I went to Ballard my school was so easy. I didn’t have to do anything and nobody cared. Then when I came to Ballard everything was really hard and I had homework all the time. I was still trying to put in the same amount of work as before, but at Ballard it didn’t work. And I got bad grades at first. But one thing I learned about living with the Sullivan’s is that you don’t mess around in school!” I had to laugh at that comment as I thought back to how many times I would get so frustrated with Sam and his poor work ethic in school! :) Guess all that frustration paid off now! Sam also mentioned a funny story about how he was the one who broke up a fist fight in the lunch line at his new school the other day. He was pretty proud that he was the one who stepped in and saved the day. Way to go!!!!

I am so thankful to still get to see Sam a lot. At first I wasn’t sure how this was all going to work out, but it has been really good. I also get to see him two nights during the week as he has practice at Jake’s gym. And hopefully he will get to keep spending lots of weekends with us as it works out. Sam is such a special kid, and Jake and I have said it many times that he is the only 11 year old we know who could handle all this change. He really could be put into any situation and figure out how to adjust and make his way. The process is just hard sometimes. But if anyone can do it, I know he can! I saw it with my own eyes all of last year!!!!!

We love you Sam ! :)

A Year of Memories

February 2010

March 2010

April 2010

May 2010

July 2010

August 2010

September 2010

October 2010

November 2010

December 2010

January 2011

Dear Lord~

I pray that you would take the faith You have planted in Sam and multiply it. May the truth of Your Word be firmly established in his heart so that his faith will grow daily and navigate his life. Help him to trust You at all times as he looks to You for truth, guidance, and transformation into Your likeness. I know that trusting in You is a choice we make. Enable him to make that choice. I pray that he will look to You for everything, knowing that he is never without hope. I pray he will have faith strong enough to lift him above his circumstances and limitations and instill in him the confidence of knowing that everything will work together for good (Romans 8:28).

As he walks in faith, may he have Your heart of love that overflows to others, a heart that is willing to give of himself and his possessions so that others can experience Your light through him. May he see that giving out of love is actually giving back to You in faith and that he will never lose anything by doing so. I pray that he will share his faith to those around him, not only in words, but in actions. May the light inside him shine so brightly to everyone around that they can’t help but notice his faith, and give praise to God.

Amen.

(prayer adapted from Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian)

Letting Go

A phone call. Shock. Tears. Long talks. Earnest prayers for a different outcome. The news sinks in. Wrestling with God. Truth. Promises. Hope. More tears. Heartache. Raw emotions. Yet peace in trusting in God’s timing.

Our last few days have been filled with these things as we received a phone call from Sam’s mom last week that she is ready to bring her son back home. To be honest, we all knew deep down in our hearts that this was going to eventually come. And I’ve dreaded it. But coming this soon, was quite a shock to us all, and Jake, Sam and I have experienced some real raw emotions over the past few days.

There are parts of me that understand this. But more parts of me are in deep anguish for the loss that I am feeling over this boy that God has taught me to love unconditionally. I understand a mother’s yearning inside her heart to be with and raise her son. I fully get that. But as I’ve processed my emotions over the past few days, my fears have been kicking in.

I think of all the progress he’s made here in his behavior and school and I fear it will all go down the drain when he gets back to his other life.

For almost a year now I’ve watched him develop a loving, selfless, appreciative demeanor and an awareness for others’ needs. And I fear he will be hardened once he goes back into that environment.

I’ve been reminiscing over these past few days of when Sam’s faith in Jesus was born inside of him a few months ago, and how I have been seeing the work of the Holy Spirit transform his life and give him an excitement in thirsting after the things of the Lord. I think of the open-hearted family devotionals we’ve had with him, of the youth pastor at our church who has invested in him, of the friends he’s made in our community who are also choosing to follow God’s path, of the long-deep talks he and Jake have had about spiritual maturity and using the gifts and talents God has given him to impact others…..and I fear that his foundation in Christ isn’t strong enough yet for him to walk this path in a completely different setting.

I fear that he’s not strong enough to stand against the peer pressure and lifestyles that the city life presents to young boys.

I fear the awaiting destruction of no good male role models.

I fear that the loving bond Sam has made with each of our children will be broken with him now living at a distance.

I fear the loss that I am already feeling in my heart. Because as much as I thought we were part of Sam’s God story, he is actually more a part of ours. When I look at Sam I see growth in my faith. I see the sweat and the tears and the frustrations of learning how to love someone no matter what they do or how they act. When I look at Sam I see a huge piece of my life that taught me how to put others first in a selfless love. And without him here, I fear a big piece of me will be gone.

And yet, as my mind swirls and swirls and swirls with these fears produced from my heartache, I hear God say to me There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear. Who am I trusting in? Where there is fear and worry, then there is no trust in an Almighty God. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. God has assured me that He is living in Sam’s heart. And this peace is the only thing that can drive out my fears. God’s perfect love is the only strength, help and victory Sam needs to stand firm in His faith. He doesn’t need me or Jake. He doesn’t need a perfect environment. He just needs to continue trusting in his Savior. And so do I.

Sam’s question to us as we sat down and talked through all of this a few nights ago was “Why now? Why would God do this now when everything is going so good?” Jake’s answer was that God had given him an awesome year with our family to develop his faith and set a foundation. But now God was calling him out. Out of here, and into a place where he can have a huge impact for Christ. His impact here in little Huxley, Iowa would have been good. But the impact Sam could potentially have in inner-city Des Moines where there are not many young, African American role models following Jesus to look up to is going to be so much greater. And Sam will have the platform of sports which can be used as a huge platform for Christ in the inner-city. As I practically downed an entire toilet paper roll in my tears, Jake encouraged Sam that this was the same way as it was for the disciples in the Bible. They didn’t have a lengthy amount of years with Jesus. But they believed, they spent time with Jesus, and then Jesus left them by way of the cross. And Jesus’ final command to them after his resurrection was summed up in these two words: Now go. Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.

Jake encouraged Sam that God is ready to write his story….the book of Sam. We know that the story has actually already been started and has quite an exciting beginning, but where will it go from here? When the news hit, my maternal mind and heart quickly took me into worries and frets about Sam’s future….but then as people started praying for us, God’s promises to Sam became louder in my mind. I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them (Isaiah 42:16). GOD WILL NOT FORSAKE HIM! For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). SAM’S CIRCUMSTANCES AND HIS SURROUNDINGS ARE NOT AN ACCIDENT! GOD HAS BIG PLANS FOR SAM’S LIFE! So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10) GOD IS SAM’S STRENGTH AND HELP AND GUIDE! And it’s only because of these truths that I can say to Sam - I am confident that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).

As we’ve said our goodbyes to Sam over the past few days I’ve been reminded that God’s timing is ALWAYS perfect. And even though Sam’s circumstances and environment have changed in the blink of an eye, there is one thing that NEVER changes and is ALWAYS constant….and that is our Almighty God. No matter what trials lie ahead, God is with him.

Dear Sammy~
I hate that you have to leave us. Jake and I have grown to love you so much, and I am having a really hard time letting go of you. I am SO PROUD of the young man I have seen you grow into over the past year. Continue on in the one and only thing that really matters in life - loving God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. If you continue to seek Him, He will help you in every single way that you need.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. ~Joshua 1:9~

Snow!

Last weekend we got our first snowfall of the winter in Iowa. But on the day it let loose we were in the gym from sun up to sun down for that Hawkeye shootout tournament, so Justice didn’t get to experience the excitement of ac tually getting to watch it fall from the sky. So that’s why, when we walked outside after the day’s games Justice took a look at the white blanket of snow and asked, “Is that real snow?” By this point the snow had stopped falling out of the sky, so it probably was quite strange to him that when he went into the gym there was no snow, but when he came out everything was covered in white (there were no windows at the gym).

Of course I had to run out and get Justice some snow pants and snow boots for school, and he has had SO MUCH fun getting to play in the snow at recess. He says their favorite thing to do is to load up the slide with snow and then it makes you fly down it really fast! He really wants to make a snow man and a snow fort, but we don’t quite have the right type of sticky snow for that yet. Hopefully soon!

It's a good thing a momma has some good help around here! Side note - we do have a snow blower, but nobody knows how to start it!

A Weekend In Hawkeye Territory

Heading to the BIG game. Look how excited this bunch is!

(Tyran hangs with us on the weekends sometimes - he's on Jake's 6th grade team)

We're here!


Now, let me say that these game time pictures certainly don’t tell the full story of the night! Let’s rewind back to the hotel lobby as we were heading to dinner before the game. As we were getting ready to leave the hotel we ran into Diante Garrett, one of the star players for Iowa State. As Jake was chatting with him, he decided to introduce Diante to JJ. Jake told JJ that this was one of the guys who plays for Iowa State, and Diante reached out to give JJ a high five. And JJ gave him a high five, looked him in the eye and said, “Go Hawkeyes!”. AHHH! As always Jake was able to make light of the moment, but oh my goodness that one will go down in history in the Sullivan family! :) The reason JJ likes the Hawkeye basketball team so much is because 3 of Jake’s former Kingdom Hoops players are on the team….Zach McCabe, Eric May, and Branden Stubbs. JJ followed each of their whereabouts the the entire game! During warm-ups Justice also decided to go for the Hawkeyes because the Hawks went through a 5 minute dunking drill, and Justice LOVES dunks! So, that was the clincher for him. So, all through the game, both Justice and JJ were cheering for the Hawkeyes (while also dressed in their Iowa State gear mind you)….but then, when Iowa State started pulling ahead in the second half, wouldn’t you know it, my two lil Hawkeye stinkers switched back over to the good side. Is that even legal? Well, despite my 'unloyal sons forever true', we sure had a lot of fun at the game! The rest of our weekend was spent with Jake’s teams as they played in the Hawkeye Shootout….

If the teams make it to the championship game, they get to play on the floor at Carver Hawkeye arena! 3 of the 4 championships were played by Jake's Kingdom Hoops teams so imagine the excitement of JJ and Justice getting to go back to the court and actually set foot on it this time!

Jake's teams took home 3 of the 4 championship titles!
7th grade boys

8th grade girls

The two 8th grade boys teams had to play eachother in the championship!

So long til next year, Hawkeyes!