Ghana Trip Journal: Day 5 Part 2

As we continued our drive to Samuel’s village Kofi kept saying “The family is so excited for your arrival!” In fact, along the way one of Samuel’s uncles called Kofi asking if we were almost there. Kofi said that this uncle had already called 4 times earlier that day, and during our drive he called Kofi 3 times! It was very reassuring that they were so excited to meet us. As we drove through a village on the way up the mountain I pointed to one of the houses and asked Kofi if Samuel lived in a house like it. Kofi said, “No, when you see Samuel’s house you will cry.” I thought, Great, let’s pile on more reasons to have an emotional breakdown in front of Samuel and his mother! One thing I had remembered Jake telling me from his last trip to Ghana when he met Solomon’s family was that Ghanaians do not show sad emotions, especially in public (other than for funeral processions). So, he would remind me that I really needed to try not to cry when I met them, because it comes across quite awkward for them. Luckily I was getting most of my tears out of the way on the car ride, so I was hoping it would not be a problem!

Once we arrived in Samuel’s village it had gotten completely pitch dark and I wondered how we would be able to see since Kofi said the village would have no lighting back in the housing area. We parked our car in the market area and Samuel’s uncle met us on the road to lead us back to Samuel’s house. Thankfully he had a flashlight so we could see as we walked. We were making our way down the alley way through the housing area, and then all of a sudden, out popped Samuel from a random doorway where he had been waiting for us! Jake and I were shocked that he was all of a sudden standing right in front of us! We both grabbed him and gave him a huge hug. Then, that is when I saw it….his smile! In the pictures that we’ve had of him he has not been smiling, and so to see him with this big smile was just the best greeting ever! And, the other best part was to know that he had been waiting right there in that exact spot for us, expectantly. He knew we were coming. And he was excited about it. You could tell by the smile on his face. Then the first thing I said to him was, “Samuel, how are you?” And much to my surprise he answered back in English, “I am fine,” and he grinned. When I had asked the question I hadn’t really expected an answer because I didn’t think he would know much English, but he did! Then, with the smile still on his face, Samuel led us further down the alley way to where his mother was at the house. These first few moments of meeting him were so surreal and quick that I didn’t have too much time to think, which was good! When we got to the house his mother was putting out some chairs for us to sit in. As Kofi introduced us to her she smiled right away, and I could see that Samuel had her exact smile! All of this smiling and excitement left no room for tears or sadness in me. There were none. We had just walked into this exciting, happy, smiling atmosphere and it was contagious!

I’ve already posted a ton of pictures from this first night that we met in a previous post. So, I won’t re-upload those now even though they correspond with this journal entry. But, I will upload this one because it is my favorite because of all the smiles!

This is Jake, Samuel's mother, Samuel, Kofi (our adoption representative in Ghana), and me.

To see the other pictures from our first meeting, you can click here.

I tried talking with Samuel’s mother but Kofi said she did not know English, so he translated some things between us. Meanwhile, Jake had been talking with Samuel and telling him all sorts of things. One of the first things Jake said was, “I like your hair color. It’s the same as mine.” Samuel smiled and nodded. Samuel also did say a few phrases back to Jake in English, and you could tell that he knew a few English words and could understand us pretty well. Samuel’s mother then introduced us to those who were gathered there. We sat in the chairs for awhile and talked and I showed Samuel his welcome book which was a big hit! After we looked at the book I remember there were a few moments of silence, and then I will never forget what Kofi said. He looked at Samuel and said, “Now you start dreaming, Samuel. Look at these pictures and then when you go to sleep at night dream about where you will be. Dream about your new bed.” Samuel looked Kofi in the eye and said, “Yes,” with a big smile.

By this time I could tell that us adopting Samuel was not a sad occasion for his mother. She was so excited. I know I keep coming back to that phrase, but I don’t know how else to describe it. There was just this happiness in the air that was so opposite of how I thought it would be. Since coming to Ghana I have realized that it is every child’s dream to come to the U.S. And it is every parent’s dream for their child to come to the U.S. Hands down. Go around village to village to village in this country and just ask people what their dream is. I guarantee you they will say they want to go to the United States. And when you ask why they will either say education or opportunity. I ‘get it’ now. I didn’t understand this concept before our trip, but now that I have seen what we have seen, and heard what these people have to say, I ‘get it’. Kofi told us during our car ride that there has even become a jealousy among the other families in Samuel’s village about his adoption. Some of the other mothers have said to Kofi “Why Samuel and not my child? Can they adopt my child too?” Kofi simply explained to them that Samuel was the first one up for adoption in the village. And now since then, there are 4 other children available for adoption in Samuel’s village.

After we went through the welcome book we gave Samuel his gifts to open. When I handed him the box he said ‘thank you’ but he didn’t know he was supposed to open it! So I showed him how to tear off the wrapping paper and then everyone ‘ooohed’ and ‘ahhhhed’ over the clothes. By this time I thought I had a pretty good idea about Samuel’s personality. He is very shy and softspoken, and smiles a lot! He also has these little tiny freckles under his eyes and on his nose, and his reddish/brown eyelashes curl straight up, almost as if they were curled with an eyelash curler (only a mom would notice this I am sure!) I think I studied about every inch of his face so that I wouldn’t forget any of it.

At some point within all of this we posed for a few pictures, and Kofi asked Samuel’s mother if we could take some pictures of her house and kitchen area. Then, I think it was about this time that I noticed something. It’s fuzzy in my memory as to when it exactly happened, but Samuel had taken a hold of Jake’s hand, and would not let go. At some points while we were talking, Samuel even took his other hand and held onto Jake’s arm right below his elbow. Wherever Jake walked, Samuel clung tightly to him. It was like Samuel had known Jake for years. And this all happened in a moment. It was almost like that was the exact moment that God whispered to him, “Samuel, this is the Dad you have been waiting for. This is him.” Because in that moment when he took Jake’s hand I saw a different side of Samuel. It was a vulnerable, scared side. And somehow, to him, Jake was protection. It’s like he sensed it.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. –Helen Keller-

This was such a beautiful moment but it was at this point that I felt my heart break. Reality sunk in right then and there that tomorrow we would have to leave Samuel here. And, I now knew how hard that was going to be.

After being there for about an hour we were told that one of Samuel’s uncles wanted to give us some dinner at his home which was about 5 miles away. We were kind of confused by the customary things and the language, so we weren’t sure if Samuel was coming with us or not. By now it was about 11pm Ghana time, so we assumed Samuel was staying behind to go to bed. We didn’t really want to leave Samuel already but the uncles were quite persistent that we come eat. So, we started to head to the car. Samuel led us back out to the market area, and I tried desperately to snap pictures as he and Jake walked ahead of me! I will never forget walking through that dark, dirty, rundown alley and just praising God for the beautiful moments that had just happened. Everything from Samuel’s mother’s excitement, to Samuel’s smile, to getting to have the experience of seeing Samuel’s village, to now this, watching Jake and Samuel’s unspoken bond with my own eyes. WOW. This couldn’t have gone any better. It really couldn’t have.

This was one of the pictures I took while they were walking. It was extremely dark and this photo didn't turn out, but I tried to lighten it and I kind of like how it turned out.

We got to the car and told Samuel that we would see him tomorrow morning. Then we were taken to the two uncle’s house where we were introduced to their wives and children. These uncles live in a nicer house about 5 miles from Samuel’s village. I am not sure that they are actually Samuel’s uncles, but I think they are more or less men in the community who have a higher status. Kofi had been calling them Samuel’s uncles, so I’ve just been sticking to that terminology, but I don’t think they are related. Kofi had mentioned that usually when visitors come to town it is customary that they are ‘hosted’ by someone. Since Samuel’s mother couldn’t afford to do this, the uncles had offered to be our hosts. The wives of the two uncles cooked us a very fun meal of homemade bread, fried eggs, bananas, oranges, and tea.

Once they brought out the food they all went into the other room while we ate. Jake and I got some good time to talk about Samuel and reflect on the trip. Eventually some of the kids who lived in this house came out to talk to us, and they wanted to know how they could come to the U.S. ! Of course! That is what everyone wants to know here! Jake talked them through some things and he asked them why they wanted to come to the U.S. so badly. Each one of them said for the education.

After we were at this house for about an hour Samuel and his mother showed up! Samuel just keeps popping up out of nowhere! Samuel sat between Jake and I and Jake showed Samuel how to play a matching game on his I-phone. He played for about 30 minutes straight and every time he got a match he would tap Jake on the shoulder and show him. Then after awhile Samuel turned to me and said ‘camera’. He wanted to take some pictures! So, I showed him how to do it and then he took about 30 pictures of all of us sitting around and talking. His favorite part was viewing the picture on the screen after he took it.

By this time it was getting pretty late, and we all decided to call it a night and say our goodbyes until the morning. We weren’t sure if it was customary to ask and see if Samuel could stay with us in the hotel for the night, but since it was so late we decided against it since we would be seeing him in just a few hours again. Samuel and his mother left, and Jake and I were taken to our hotel.

Once we settled into our hotel room I realized that I was physically and emotionally exhausted, but in the most beautiful way. All I could think of was Samuel and the thing my mind kept saying was “He’s perfect! Just perfect.” I loved his personality and thought that he is going to fit in so well with our family. I started thinking about getting to take him to all of his firsts….first football game, first weekend basketball tournament, first time swimming in a pool, first time ordering some ice cream at DQ, first time riding a bike, and on and on. I was so grateful that this first meeting had gone so well. Better than I could have ever imagined. And, most of all, my heart was full of joy because Samuel’s mother was so excited about the adoption. What a great day! I fell asleep thinking that there was no one else in this entire country of Ghana that I would rather adopt. Samuel is the one. He’s perfect for our family. And I prayed. Thank you God for leading us to him. YOU, Lord, are faithful. YOUR mercies never fail. YOU, are mighty to save.