Adventures of Mommyhood: A trip to the fabric store

Yesterday I had to go to Joann’s Fabrics to try and find some fabric to hang from the gym poles for the Project: Ghana dinner. Until yesterday, I hadn’t been to a fabric store since I was with my mom when I was a little girl. I am not too crafty and sadly if I need to find something I usually just buy it already made instead of figuring out how to make it….although I am sure making things would be much more fun and less expensive! Anyways, as we drove to the store I reached back into my memory of what I could expect in a fabric store, and the first thought that came to mind was that they are always very quiet, and there are never enough workers to help the long lines of people waiting for fabric to be cut. As we walked in, I realized my memory was quite accurate! Not bad for a 20 year gap. I began browsing through all the fabric options…

All right. Let’s see. Oooh, tulle is 40% off which makes it $.089 per yard! Perfect! I grabbed some and went to the fabric cutting counter. While I waited for a clerk to help me, I realized that JJ & Jayla were very wound up. I’m not talking about ‘I-don’t-wanna-sit-in-this-cart-or-stand-still-by-the-counter’ wound up. I’m talking about ‘I’m-bored-and-hungry-and-thirsty-and-antsy-and-so-I-will-poke-my-little-sister-and-scream-at-the-top-of-my-little-girl-lungs’ wound up. Time to put my distraction skills to use. (Luckily by this time it was my turn to be helped by the clerk, so I thought it wouldn’t be too much longer until we were out of there)

Distraction time. First I tried food. Half a zip lock bag left of cheez–its in my purse. Perfect. And, normally a distraction and life saver if the cart is moving. But, not when standing still. The cheez-its were downed in toddler and big brother fashion within one minute.

Whining, crying, screaming ensues (yes, Jayla screams now – for fun). I look over at the sales clerk who had carefully measured out 3 yards of fabric. Oh good, only 77 more yards to go (I needed 80 yards!).

I ran down my mommy distraction list (MDL). Next up, 5 little monkeys swinging from a tree. This song brightened the spirits until we got to 3 monkeys left and then the hype was over.

Big brother pestering of defenseless, yet opinionated, little sister continues on. Okay, next up on MDL is the exciting game of looking around and naming what we see. “JJ, tell me what colors you see.” JJ walks over to the boards of fabric, names off a few colors and then digs his face into a sheer piece of fabric leaving a gooey drool of leftover cheez-it slobber on the fabric. OK, name the color game is officially over.

I looked around to see what else we could do. Ah-hah, a coupon magazine was laying on the counter. We flipped through the pictures and talked about the Halloween costumes. The pictures captivated them and emotions were finally under control.

The sales clerk began measuring out the next board of tulle (only 40 yards to go!), and with the accomplishment of two distracted kiddos I started asking her about what she recommended for the adhesive to attach the tulle to the poles. With my back slightly turned from the cart, we chatted about double sided tape. And then, out of the corner of my eye I saw it…the flimsy shopping cart tipping to the side .5 seconds away from crashing to the ground. I’ll pause to give you the details that JJ had tried to climb up on the side of the cart – normally okay with the bigger sized shopping carts – not Joann’s Fabric ones. Jayla was standing in the back of the cart at the time….so the cart began to tip sideways and fall to the ground with my precious red-haired cargo inside and outside of it. As I saw this out of my periph I broke into my old ‘highschool softball pitcher quick reaction mode’ (you know, the quick reaction time you gain as a pitcher when 90mph line drives are hit right back at your head). And, somehow I caught the cart just before it crashed to the ground. I looked up to see a crowd of ladies watching the entire scene unfold, and from the look on their faces they were not going to hand over the ‘good catch’ award, but instead the ‘your life is out of control’ award!

Once I got the kids calmed down from their scare it was finally time to check out! Only one more line to go! By now I was trying to keep hold of Jayla as she was desperately trying to wriggle out of my arms, and JJ was tugging at my waist pleading to leave. I was still one person away from paying, so I had to resort to my last and final item on the MDL – TURN ‘EM LOOSE! And, that I did. I set Jayla down, and she and JJ took off…..running through the aisles, giggling and screaming with delight. Finally I paid and was soothed by the satisfaction of a 40% fabric discount. By this time my kids were at the back of the store. I couldn’t see them. But I could hear them. I chased them through the aisles (fast lil boogers!) and finally snatched them up and we were out the door, in my opinion never to return. That was until today when I realized the accent table covers I had purchased at the party time store are too small. And, I’ve come up with the bright idea to try something crafty, and make some table runners. With fabric. So, I am going back tomorrow. :)