Jake's Thought for the Week

Each week I will be sending out Jake's Thought for the Week which he sends out to all the parents of the players in his Kingdom Hoops program.

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13

No fear of failure: the ability to take a risk and keep the focus and attention on our call and obedience!

It might just be me but I feel as though September has flown by. Maybe it is because there are so many things happening and so many great God stories to be told. I feel so blessed to be where we are at today. Each day that I arrive at the gym I am excited to get on the court to work with the outstanding group of young boys and girls that we have in the Kingdom Hoops program. As we head into this new season I want to really hit one point home with all of the athletes we are coaching and that is: Do not be afraid to fail. We have said it a lot the last few weeks as you have probably heard us harping on the kids to push themselves to the point they are uncomfortable or can challenge themselves, and if they fail to know that it is all right.

Nothing great can ever be accomplished without failure. When I look back over my basketball career I can remember every time I failed and how much I improved because of those failures. I even found Christ through the failures of my junior and senior season in college. We were in Scandavia (Norway, Sweden, Denmark) with the Big 12 All-Star team and I was in the best shape of my life and playing the best basketball of my career; when all of a sudden I felt a pop in my ankle. To make a long story short I was never able to successfully jump off my right foot again and managed to lose every road game for two consecutive seasons with most of the reason being because of my poor play on the road and my inability to get lift on my jump shot because of what flying did to my ankle.

It was the first time in my life that no matter how hard I worked it seemed as though I always failed. I would walk into Hickory Park and answer hundreds of questions of why do I play so well in Hilton and why do I royally stink on the road. I would shrug my shoulders and tell everyone I wish I knew. It was amazing how God used those failures in my life to call me to himself. It allowed me to change my focus, understand what was important and ultimately it led me to Kingdom Hoops. Failure can be viewed in two ways; one it can be viewed as something you can overcome with hard work and other times failure is just being used to mature oneself - and many times those periods of maturity are going to be used for a greater purpose.

What concerns me with young people today is how much the fear of failure holds them back. It is ok to have the fear of failure as long as it drives you to reach new goals as it has done many times for me. However, when the fear of failure holds them back from accomplishing great things or trying new things, it concerns me greatly. I look at failure as God’s way of teaching us, maturing us, and many times the single thing that he uses to open new doors for us. If we never dream big, trust in God, and just TRY, who knows what great things we will miss out on!!

The fear of failure will always be there but what do we do in the face of the fear? I remember when this journey began at Kingdom Hoops and all of the apprehension that I had going into this journey. What if it did not succeed? What if it was just too much? What if it was the wrong decision? Was I ready to make this long term commitment? God are you sure this is something you want me to do? As I was wrestling with all of these decisions in November I felt God throw me back to late October 1994.

It was a cold October evening and my Dad had ran to the Blockbuster Video and brought home the movie titled Pistol Pete: The Story of Pistol Pete Maravich. My Dad and I headed downstairs and took comfort in our own little areas of the basement. This night my Dad even let me use the special quilt that usually was never allowed to be touched by anyone other than my Dad.

The movie was the story of Pete Maravich and the entire story was about him growing up until the 8th grade and gave the whole story of his 8th grade season when he made the Varsity team. It showed how hard he worked, how much time he dedicated to the game of basketball, and things he experienced while trying to reach his goals. I can still remember getting chills while watching the movie as I just knew that is who I wanted to be like.

Following the movie I put on a couple of sweatshirts and sweatpants and headed to the driveway to practice. It was about 6pm and my Mom had just finished cooking dinner and hollered outside for me to get in and get washed up for dinner. As I quickly snuck in 50 more shots my Dad opened the door and strongly encouraged me to get my butt inside for dinner and I quickly obliged.

As I finished washing my hands and scurried to the table I had an important announcement to make to my whole family. I looked at my Mom, Dad, & brother Nick and said, "I am going to start on the Varsity team as an 8th grader and I am going to be all-conference as an 8th grader." My brother laughed hysterically and as he was laughing my Dad offered me a bet. He said, "If you make the varsity team and become All-Conference as an 8th grader you can get your ear pierced." (I had wanted to get my ear pierced for quite some time) For my Dad to say something like that was quite crazy because my Dad was a military guy. Our house ran on military time, our hair was cut military style and piercings were not happening as long as my Dad was alive - despite me asking him every day for two years. So, with my brother's laughter, and my Dad’s sincere sense of doubt and hanging bet, fear struck me.

What if I can’t do it? What if the dream is just too big? Was I really willing to give up many joys of being 13 years old to spend all those countless hours in the gym to make it happen? What if I failed and never reached my goals?

Well, let's just say in the Spring of 1996 I got my ear pierced and new goals were ready to be set and new bets were ready to be made.

I am including a great article on fear from Alan Stein (one of the head Nike skills trainers among other things):

Failure Is A Good Thing!
by Alan Stein: http://blog.strongerteam.com/

I know the story is way over told and very cliché; but nevertheless it epitomizes the purpose of this blog. Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest player in team sports history (not just basketball), was cut from his high school varsity basketball team as a sophomore. He has stated in countless interviews how he used that “failure” as the spark that ignited his tenacious pursuit of excellence, and eventually dominance, on the basketball court. MJ will have gone from being cut from his varsity team to reaching the pinnacle of success; when he will be inducted to the Basketball Hall of Fame next week.

I truly believe the key to being successful, in any endeavor (but especially sports), is how you view failure and how you view mistakes. Most people view failure as a negative. They are so petrified by failure it becomes an immovable roadblock, and in my opinion, prevents them from attaining success. Others view failure as an integral part of the developmental process and look at mistakes as the speed bumps on the road to success. I most certainly fall into the latter group. Failure, if handled appropriately, is a key ingredient to being successful. Ask any successful person and they will confirm. Failure can teach you lessons you never would have learned otherwise (“School of Hard Knocks”), it can humble you and allow you to keep a healthy perspective, and it can be used to fuel your motivation for future success like in Michael Jordan’s case.

What’s really so bad about failure?

The main reason folks fear failure is because of the feeling of rejection they associate with it. People are so worried about getting rejected they avoid it at all costs. Do you realize how successful you could be if you were immune to feeling rejected? Byron Katie once said “you can have anything you want in life if you are willing to ask 1,000 people for it.” Anything. Think about that for second. There is a lot of truth to that statement. Ask 1,000 people? Most folks will quit after just one or two “no’s.”

I see the same fear with players all of the time. What about working on a new move? You think if you practiced that move for thousands of reps you would master it? Of course you would! Who cares if the first hundred times you did it you lost the ball, traveled, or couldn’t perform it at game speed?! If you keep working on it will eventually become a part of your offensive arsenal. One of the moves taught at every Nike Skills Academy this past summer was the Euro-step; which Tony Parker has made famous in the NBA. It is a deadly move for guards to use around the basket to elude a defender. Even the best high school and college players in the country had difficulty mastering the Euro-step; but those that did were the ones who stuck with it, rep after rep, and didn’t mind “failing” the first dozen or so times they tried it.

Jack Canfield, the creator of the Chicken Soup for The Soul series, was turned down by over 30 publishers before landing a book deal. That means over 30 people told him NO! That means he “failed” 30 times. Yet he persisted and believed in himself. Since then he has sold millions of books, inspired millions of readers, and made hundreds of millions of dollars. He is living proof of Byron Katie’s quote.

The irony is, in most cases, the person who gets the most “yes’s” in life is also the one who gets the most “no’s.” That means the folks with the most success, usually have had the most “failures” as well! One of my favorite motivational speakers is Steve Chandler, who said “if you never fail, you aren’t challenging yourself. You aren’t pushing your limits.” Amen to that.

That makes me think of one of my favorite quotes (sorry, not sure who originally said this):

“Your greatest fear should not be aiming too high and missing; but aiming too low and achieving.”

Here is another way to view this, courtesy of Mr. Chandler. Picture this; I give you a coin. I tell you I will give you $100 for every time you flip it and it lands on heads. You have 10 minutes to flip it as many times as you want! That’s it; those are the rules. What would you do? Would you tentatively sit there… scared to flip the coin in case it landed on tails? Of course not! You would flip that sucker as many times as you could… because you know the more times you flip it the more chances you have for it to land on heads (and get paid!)! You could care less if it landed on tails! Imagine having that same fervor for everything you try to achieve in life. I have tried hard to adopt that mantra in my life this past year and it has paid off in countless ways.

When strength training, when you take a set to the point at which you can’t perform another quality repetition, you have reached what is called Momentary Muscular Failure… which is a good thing! Picture a bench press for the ease of the visual. When your chest and shoulders and triceps are so exhausted you can’t budge the bar off your chest and you need to a spotter to re-rack the weight… you have just “failed.” The good news is consistently and systematically reaching MMF is an extremely productive way to increase strength. While there are certainly exceptions, I have most of my players take most of their sets to the point of momentary muscular failure every workout. In other words, I not only encourage it, but I demand my players “fail” several times each workout! And you know what? Over time they become bigger, stronger, and more powerful.

Players ask me all of the time what they can do to “get better.” Certainly an individualized prescription of skill work and player development is almost always necessary. But I can always offer one sure fire way to guarantee improvement: play with players older, bigger, stronger, and better than you are! You will get knocked around, you will get the ball stolen from you, you will get your shot blocked, and will (probably) even get dunked on… but most importantly you will get better!

For every picture perfect game winning shot Michael Jordan hit; there were countless other times he missed. Countless other times he could have won the game but didn’t. But he never let the fear of missing prevent him from taking the shot. He never let failure get in the way of success.

And neither should you.