Well, little Miss Jayla finished out the potty training last week like a champ! I am so glad she got it figured out and we are done! :) I think I last updated on the morning of Day 4. I forgot to mention in that post that on the afternoon of Day 3 we had ventured out of the house a few times (for about an hour each), but she didn’t have to go while we were out. I did continue to keep her in underwear when we went out, and just brought a change of clothes with me in case. Day 4 we went to Target in the afternoon and after we had been there about 5 minutes she told me she had to go. This was going to be the big ‘test’ because I really wanted to see how she would react to going in a public bathroom, without the potty seat insert. I’ve had a few people email me about this too….how to handle the public bathroom scenario…..so here is what I’ve done……When I put her on the pot I showed her how to steady herself by putting her hands on either side of the lid.....I know that this is super gross as far as germs go, but I really don't see any other way around it. At least with Jayla she does not like it when I hold her up there. She would rather do it herself. At first I could tell that she was scared she would fall in but once she was holding herself up with her hands on her own she wasn't as scared. With everything else I just acted like it was all completely normal and did and said the same things that we did at home. And she went right away. I also made sure to pack her reward with me, so she got a sticker right after she went, just like she did at home. And we just washed her hands really good afterwards. This was a huge, huge success for us, because the next day (Day 5) we were heading to a tournament in Kansas, so I really wanted her to experience the public restroom thing before the trip, since she was going to be going in unfamiliar bathrooms all weekend long.
So, Day 5 we were off to Kansas for a tournament. She hadn’t pooped for 2 days (since Day 3 when she hid from me and did the duty in her pants). So, I figured it was coming. And it was. That afternoon when we were at the gym she kept telling me that she had to go. We went to the bathroom 3 times during one game and no poop. Then as we were sitting in the stands, I noticed her getting ready to poop in her pants, so I quickly scooped her up and headed to the bathroom for poop try #4. But, this time I made her sit there on the potty since I knew for sure that she had to go. We sat in the bathroom for 10 minutes straight ‘arguing’. Finally she gave in. And she pooped in the potty. And I did a major, major, potty dance, and felt like running out to the people sitting in the stands and yelling at the top of my lungs that my daughter just pooped in the potty. But instead I just smiled big and texted the grandma’s! Then, I quickly raced out to the car and got her a sucker (since I didn’t have any popsicles) and she loved it! Since then, we’ve had no more issues with the pooping thing. It just took her one time to overcome that fear, and now she actually thinks it’s kind of funny to see it in there after she is done.
So, our potty training adventure is accomplished! Whew! She was a stubborn one, but we got ‘er done! The excitement of the rewards has also worn off, as they did with JJ. She just goes now, and doesn’t expect any reward afterwards. She actually gets really excited about the hand washing part because she loves water, so once her hands are washed I think that is her signal that the bathroom trip is over and it’s on to the next thing.
Feel free to email me if you want any more insights on our potty training adventure. I probably won’t be posting about it anymore. Yippppeeeeee! And Yipppoooooo!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Jake Quotes
To JJ:
“If you’re gonna be a basketball player, you are going to need to learn how to do two things first. #1, you are going to need to learn how to take showers. #2, you are going to need to leave your blankey at home.”
:)
To his players while coaching:
“Nobody has ever become successful without fully embracing adversity. Adversity forces you to grow and evaluate what needs to be done moving forward in order to succeed.”
:)
To his players while coaching:
“You cannot be afraid to fail! Failure can be your best teacher!”
:)
On Fred Hoiberg being hired as the new ISU men’s bball coach (everyone has been asking him his opinion!):
“It’s a great hire! He is going to bring some much needed energy and excitement back into the program.”
:)
After going through bills:
“Sam, when you grow up, go to law school. You know how much my lawyer for the foundation is charging me? $90/hour. You could be rich and take us all on vacation.”
Sam’s response, “Oh yeah, I’ll be raking in the moo-lah!!!!”
:)
On ‘one of those days at the office’:
“Someday you will find me living in a hut in Africa. And life will be much more simple, and I won’t have to deal with people.”
:)
On parents giving him 'recommendations' on how to coach their kid’s team:
“If I was a plumber and you called me to come and fix your sink, would you stand over me and tell me how to do it? No, you would trust me to fix your sink. In the same way, trust me that I am making the best decisions for your kid on the basketball court. I am the coach. Let me coach.”
:)
“I love mowing. It’s my time to think.”
:)
“There is nothing better in the world than a s’more bar for breakfast.”
See if you agree:
Indoor S’mores
-8 cups Golden Grahams cereal
-6 cups mini marshmallows
-1 ½ cups milk chocolate chips
-1/4 cup light corn syrup
-5 tablespoons butter or margarine
-1 teaspoon vanilla
Butter 9 x 13 inch pan. Measure cereal into large bowl. Microwave 5 cups of the marshmallows, the chocolate chips, corn syrup and butter in large bowl uncovered for 2 minutes to 3 minutes 30 seconds, stirring after every minute until mixture can be stirred smooth. Stir in vanilla. Pour over cereal in bowl; quickly toss until evenly coated. Stir in remaining 1 cup marshmallows. Press mixture in pan, using buttered back of spoon. Let stand uncovered at least 1 hour, or refrigerate for a firmer bar.
“If you’re gonna be a basketball player, you are going to need to learn how to do two things first. #1, you are going to need to learn how to take showers. #2, you are going to need to leave your blankey at home.”
:)
To his players while coaching:
“Nobody has ever become successful without fully embracing adversity. Adversity forces you to grow and evaluate what needs to be done moving forward in order to succeed.”
:)
To his players while coaching:
“You cannot be afraid to fail! Failure can be your best teacher!”
:)
On Fred Hoiberg being hired as the new ISU men’s bball coach (everyone has been asking him his opinion!):
“It’s a great hire! He is going to bring some much needed energy and excitement back into the program.”
:)
After going through bills:
“Sam, when you grow up, go to law school. You know how much my lawyer for the foundation is charging me? $90/hour. You could be rich and take us all on vacation.”
Sam’s response, “Oh yeah, I’ll be raking in the moo-lah!!!!”
:)
On ‘one of those days at the office’:
“Someday you will find me living in a hut in Africa. And life will be much more simple, and I won’t have to deal with people.”
:)
On parents giving him 'recommendations' on how to coach their kid’s team:
“If I was a plumber and you called me to come and fix your sink, would you stand over me and tell me how to do it? No, you would trust me to fix your sink. In the same way, trust me that I am making the best decisions for your kid on the basketball court. I am the coach. Let me coach.”
:)
“I love mowing. It’s my time to think.”
:)
“There is nothing better in the world than a s’more bar for breakfast.”
See if you agree:
Indoor S’mores
-8 cups Golden Grahams cereal
-6 cups mini marshmallows
-1 ½ cups milk chocolate chips
-1/4 cup light corn syrup
-5 tablespoons butter or margarine
-1 teaspoon vanilla
Butter 9 x 13 inch pan. Measure cereal into large bowl. Microwave 5 cups of the marshmallows, the chocolate chips, corn syrup and butter in large bowl uncovered for 2 minutes to 3 minutes 30 seconds, stirring after every minute until mixture can be stirred smooth. Stir in vanilla. Pour over cereal in bowl; quickly toss until evenly coated. Stir in remaining 1 cup marshmallows. Press mixture in pan, using buttered back of spoon. Let stand uncovered at least 1 hour, or refrigerate for a firmer bar.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Jake's Thought for the Week
Jake's thought for the week is this awesome article:
Ben Zobrist has one of those stories. The ones that make kids play harder, dream bigger and aim higher. The ones that inspire even the most improbable of visions. The ones that seem to spotlight the magnitude and sovereignty of God. Undrafted and unscholarshipped out of high school, Zobrist thought his baseball days were over when he finished his senior season at Eureka High School in Eureka, Ill. Like a typical senior, he weighed his career options and college choices, and even looked into a Bible college in Kansas City. But midway through the summer, he still didn’t know where to go or what to do.
Only one thing was clear in Zobrist’s mind. After accepting Christ as his Savior as a 5-year-old under the direction of his Christian parents and then fully surrendering to Him as Lord of his life in high school, Zobrist knew he wanted his life to make a difference for the Kingdom of God. The rest was all just a little
confusing.
“I did a lot of questioning that year and trying to figure out where I was going in life,” said Zobrist, sitting down for a preseason interview with STV at the Tampa Bay Rays’ spring training facility in Port Charlotte, Fla. “I had a lot of anxiety that I had to release to the Lord. Finally I just said, ‘You know what? I don’t need any of this. I’d rather have peace. I’d rather trust God and let Him take care of it all.’ And that’s when everything started opening up.”
Still undecided about where to go to college at the end of June, Zobrist took one last shot at baseball by participating in a nearby skills showcase for coaches and scouts. One of the coaches on hand was NAIA legend Elliot Johnson from Olivet Nazarene University (Ill.). In the young Zobrist, Johnson saw potential no one else did. He offered Zobrist a place on the team and reported back to his coaching staff. Soon, they, too, were believers in Zobrist’s ability.
“We could tell he was a good athlete, but we had no idea he was going to be a big-leaguer,” said Chad Gassman, who served on Johnson’s staff at the time and is currently the head coach at Waldorf College (Iowa) and manager of the Cape Cod League’s Hyannis Mets. “But when he walked on campus that first year, you could tell by the way he approached the game that he had the potential to be something special. He was a quality person, a hard worker and a skilled player.”
As a pitcher and infielder at Olivet, Zobrist developed his skills on the field but impressed others by investing equal if not greater effort into his spiritual growth. He led the campus FCA Huddle, contributed to the team’s spiritual development, and even made an impact on his superiors.
“I almost hate to say it, but even as a coach he kept me accountable,” Gassman said with a laugh. “He made everyone around him—his teammates and coaches—stronger. Whenever you’re with Ben, iron truly sharpens iron.”
While Zobrist’s spiritual leadership and maturity spilled over onto those in the clubhouse, the young infielder was himself learning valuable lessons about the God he’d come to know.
Prior to attending the skills showcase that had sent him to Olivet Nazarene, Zobrist had asked God for clarity regarding his future. When God delivered so obviously by giving him streamlined direction, Zobrist began to consider God’s sovereignty in a new way.
“I’d asked for clarity, and clarity came,” Zobrist said. “Coming through that was a ding factor for me. I thought if God did that for college, then maybe He would do that for my spouse. Maybe He would do that for my career someday. Maybe He would make all these things happen in such a way that I wouldn’t have to question—I would just trust. That was essentially what started happening in my life.”
Throughout his time at Olivet, Zobrist continued asking for clarity. After a quality career with the Tigers, Zobrist prayed about and made the decision to transfer to Division-I Dallas Baptist University for his senior year. It was another God-ordained, prayed-up decision that paid off, as Zobrist was noticed and selected by the Houston Astros in the 2004 MLB Draft.
Unlike many major leaguers, Zobrist didn’t have to spend much time in the minors. Midway through the 2006 season, the Astros traded him to the Tampa Bay Rays, and he immediately took over as the team’s big-league shortstop. He endured two up-and-down years but altered his swing prior to the start of the 2008 season and returned to the team with a powerful bat—one that helped the Rays to their first World Series appearance in franchise history.
Zobrist continued his individual success in 2009, earning his first MLB All-Star nod and ranking among the American League’s top 25 in six major categories. And as his on-the-field stock has risen, so has his fame.
“I feel really humbled by the fact that I have a platform,” said Zobrist, who maximizes his status by speaking at faith-promoting events. “We have a passion to use where God has placed us in order to help kids pursue a relationship with Christ. The fruit we need to bear should be in multiplying believers, and we want to help them focus on the gospel and help generate a passion for Christ inside of them.”
The “we” Zobrist mentions is where his story takes a deeper spiritual turn.
Rewind back through his baseball career to his freshman year at Olivet when one of Zobrist’s teammates—a senior who was already married—introduced Zobrist to his wife’s sister via e-mail, thinking the two might hit it off.
Only a junior at Iowa City High School, though, young Julianna Gilmore was focused on a future that included more performing and singing than dating.
“Sure, I liked boys, but I was pretty career-focused on music,” said Julianna, now an independent Christian recording artist whose first release The Tree was widely praised in the media for its unique spin on Christian music. “I knew I was heading to Belmont University in Tennessee, so Ben and I talked on the phone, but we both knew it wasn’t really the right time.”
After a casual dialogue, Zobrist and Julianna decided to postpone communication indefinitely knowing that, if God wanted something to develop in the future, He’d make a way. The two parted ways on friendly terms and left it all up to divine circumstances.
It didn’t take long for God’s hand to move. A few months later, Zobrist was traveling with his team to Florida for spring games when he spotted a familiar face walking into the lobby of his Daytona Beach hotel. It was Julianna, whose family was also staying there.
“That was crazy,” Julianna said. “I was from Iowa; he was from Illinois, and we saw each other totally randomly.”
Added Zobrist: “It was obvious that God was bringing her back into my life. It was just a little glimpse. Nothing had changed circumstantially, so we didn’t start communicating immediately again, but from then on I just couldn’t get her out of my heart.”
Unable to forget about her, Zobrist eventually decided to take action by sending Julianna a casual e-mail. Little did he know how interesting his timing would be.
She had just ended a rough relationship and was frustrated with men. So, when Julianna received Zobrist’s e-mail, she felt more confused than ever.
“I just started bawling to my best friend, ranting that he was just this guy who was kind of in my life, but kind of not,” Julianna said, chuckling at the memory. “I told her that, from that day on, I was going to pray that God would either put him in my life or take him out, because I was tired of being teased by the idea of a mature, godly man.”
In Julianna’s eyes, Zobrist had already earned respect based on their previous interaction. She’d seen his maturity in the Lord and noticed a difference in how he treated her. Both her father and brother, who had gotten to know Zobrist through baseball, loved him—a small miracle in itself considering their protective nature. Now, it was time for something to change. It was time to either go for it or cut it off.
Refusing to take the lead in the relationship or try to control what would happen between them, Julianna went to the Lord with her own intentional prayers for clarification. Just two weeks later, she received her surprising answer: Ben Zobrist standing on her Tennessee doorstep.
By this time, Zobrist was a senior at Dallas Baptist and a teammate of Julianna’s brother. On a whim, the two boys had driven up to surprise Julianna on her birthday.
Talk about a birthday gift. Instead of flowers or candy, Zobrist knew what he would offer Julianna: a Christ-centered, intentional relationship.
“She was just this awesome, godly woman, and I’d kind of had her on a pedestal for a while,” Zobrist said. “I just decided to put myself out there and see if she had any interest.”
She did. But, according to Julianna, it was the result of divine intervention.
“It was just so clear that God was the One who wanted us together,” she said. “I’d been praying intentionally, and Ben had felt an urgency to know if I felt anything for him. I was finally like, ‘OK, Lord, I get it.’ We started dating that night.”
After a year and four months of dating, the Zobrists were engaged. They married on Dec. 17, 2005; Julianna’s senior year.
“Ben is very dedicated to everything he puts his mind to,” Julianna said. “That goes for his job, for the way he dated me and pursued me, the way he’s been my husband, and now the way he’s been a father to our son. He is just constantly talking with the Lord and trying to learn more about being the man God wants him to be. He has this amazing leadership strength from God through the Holy Spirit, and I respect him so much.”
For Zobrist, the love and respect is reciprocated. After four years of marriage, he has seen the blessings of his godly wife and counts it a privilege to be her husband, especially considering the path she could have taken.
A standout performer and singer at Belmont, Julianna had options for a full-time career in music. Even now, producers say she has not only the talent but also the charisma to make it big in the industry.
“I always tell people that Julianna is way more talented than I am,” Zobrist said with a proud smile regarding his wife and the mother of their one-year-old son, Zion. “She could be a very out-in-front-of-everybody musician if she wasn’t willing to stay with me all year long and to be at home with our son. She sacrificed a lot of her career to be able to be a wife and mother first. But our family roles are important to us.”
Instead of pursuing her music career, Julianna first pursues the family that God gave her. She remains active in the music industry, but only if it allows her to travel with her husband. Not willing to waste her talents, either, she exercises them creatively by scheduling shows that coordinate with her husband’s travel schedule.
In striking this kind of family balance, both Ben and Julianna hope to set a positive example not only for other married couples but also for their son as he grows.
“Zion needs a father figure; he needs to see Dad on the job working hard and Mom working hard to allow us to stay together,” Julianna said. “Ben is always saying that I sacrificed being a rock star to be his wife and a mom, and I told him the other day, ‘Heck yes I did! And I would never want it any other way.’ I would never want Zion to grow up and hear a reporter say that I could have done this or that. If that happened, I’d say, ‘Yes, I could have, but praise God I didn’t. And I wouldn’t change a moment.’ I want to be his mom, and I want to be Ben’s wife.”
Through their commitment to staying together on the road and at home, Ben and Julianna Zobrist have also developed a unique ministry. It’s not rare to see a flier advertising an event that features the testimony of the MLB All-Star and the special music of his wife.
Churches, specifically, are an important target for the Zobrists. While they understand that God has given them a platform to share their faith among both believers and non-believers, they have a specific desire to reach out to and build up fellow Christians.
“So many of us in the church need to be evangelized, too,” Zobrist said. “It’s important to make sure the gospel keeps going forward in our own hearts. We are still learning how to do that, but we know that Christians need to be encouraged, and we want to do that however we can.”
One way Zobrist has been able to reach that audience has been through FCA.
Active in the ministry throughout high school and college and even attending FCA Leadership Camp at the ministry’s former National Conference Center in Indiana, Zobrist makes frequent appearances at ministry events.
“Ben is really one of a kind,” said Tampa FCA Multi-Area Director Glen Shamblen, who enlisted the Zobrist speaking/singing duo for his 2009 banquet. “That night Ben just opened his heart and shared what Christ meant in his life. He literally stayed until he and I were the last pair to leave. He signed everything brought to him. Several times, I even saw him go to his knees so he could speak to younger children at their eye-level. Both he and Julianna took time with everyone who wanted it, and they made such an impact.”
Beyond the Tampa banquet, Zobrist also has made several appearances at area high schools through FCA, has spoken at the ministry’s local auction, and has even spent time ministering to groups of regional Huddle Coaches.
For Zobrist, reaching out through FCA is a natural fit.
“I loved my time in FCA as a student-athlete,” he said. “And now it’s been a great organization and a great vehicle for us to reach out to the community and reach the fellow believers who are on our hearts. We love when Christians are reaching into the community and schools and spreading the gospel.”
Through his and Julianna’s appearances in these settings, Zobrist also is able to take a particular stance that sets him apart from many of today’s pro athletes, even those who are Christian, and that is his desire to share the whole truth.
“Even as Christians, everyone wants us to give a message about hard work and character, but the message we carry is an exclusive message—one about Christ and His mystery,” he said. “I know that I’ve glossed over it in the past. I’ve failed to mention sin and what Christ has actually done for me in taking my penalty on Himself. I’ve failed to mention how unworthy I really am, and that that’s why Christ had to die.”
It’s a heavy message, but one that Zobrist feels compelled to tell. He’s heard enough of the “fluff” and knows that the gospel—the full gospel—must be shared in order to make the impact it should.
“The last thing we want people to do is come away from a message about Christ thinking that it’s just about trying to become a better person,” he said. “Christ didn’t come just to make us better people. He came to die for us and to let us know that He was the better person. I want people to know that everything good in me comes from Him and not my own effort.”
In a world that glorifies batting averages and Gold Gloves, that message packs a punch, especially when it’s combined with the testimony of a beautiful rock star who loves the Lord just as much.
They’ve heard the statistics—the ones that tell how kids from the millennial generation admire entertainers more than any other public figures. So, Ben and Julianna Zobrist are using their time in the spotlight to redirect all watching eyes and point them to the cross.
“It’s really kind of sobering when we think about the responsibility we’ve been given,” Julianna said, “but it’s such an opportunity to spread the gospel and make disciples, which is why we’re here. We are both trying hard, but we’ve both learned that success only comes when we abide in the Lord and just walk with Him and love Him and the things of Him. When we do that, it will be obvious where we stand.”
Zobrist agrees.
“In Scripture, we’re told that if we stay connected to the vine, we are going to bear fruit,” he said. “The way we bear that fruit may not be the way people think, but what God has taught me over the years as He’s kept me in the game is that ministry can happen anywhere—wherever we work; wherever we go—but it has to happen in our own hearts first. Then, He will take our lives and connect them to those around us. It doesn’t matter if it’s a baseball field, a clubhouse, a backyard or a neighborhood. Wherever we go, we will be His vessels.”
HAVE A GREAT WEEK!
JAKE
Ben Zobrist has one of those stories. The ones that make kids play harder, dream bigger and aim higher. The ones that inspire even the most improbable of visions. The ones that seem to spotlight the magnitude and sovereignty of God. Undrafted and unscholarshipped out of high school, Zobrist thought his baseball days were over when he finished his senior season at Eureka High School in Eureka, Ill. Like a typical senior, he weighed his career options and college choices, and even looked into a Bible college in Kansas City. But midway through the summer, he still didn’t know where to go or what to do.Only one thing was clear in Zobrist’s mind. After accepting Christ as his Savior as a 5-year-old under the direction of his Christian parents and then fully surrendering to Him as Lord of his life in high school, Zobrist knew he wanted his life to make a difference for the Kingdom of God. The rest was all just a little
confusing.
“I did a lot of questioning that year and trying to figure out where I was going in life,” said Zobrist, sitting down for a preseason interview with STV at the Tampa Bay Rays’ spring training facility in Port Charlotte, Fla. “I had a lot of anxiety that I had to release to the Lord. Finally I just said, ‘You know what? I don’t need any of this. I’d rather have peace. I’d rather trust God and let Him take care of it all.’ And that’s when everything started opening up.”
Still undecided about where to go to college at the end of June, Zobrist took one last shot at baseball by participating in a nearby skills showcase for coaches and scouts. One of the coaches on hand was NAIA legend Elliot Johnson from Olivet Nazarene University (Ill.). In the young Zobrist, Johnson saw potential no one else did. He offered Zobrist a place on the team and reported back to his coaching staff. Soon, they, too, were believers in Zobrist’s ability.
“We could tell he was a good athlete, but we had no idea he was going to be a big-leaguer,” said Chad Gassman, who served on Johnson’s staff at the time and is currently the head coach at Waldorf College (Iowa) and manager of the Cape Cod League’s Hyannis Mets. “But when he walked on campus that first year, you could tell by the way he approached the game that he had the potential to be something special. He was a quality person, a hard worker and a skilled player.”
As a pitcher and infielder at Olivet, Zobrist developed his skills on the field but impressed others by investing equal if not greater effort into his spiritual growth. He led the campus FCA Huddle, contributed to the team’s spiritual development, and even made an impact on his superiors.
“I almost hate to say it, but even as a coach he kept me accountable,” Gassman said with a laugh. “He made everyone around him—his teammates and coaches—stronger. Whenever you’re with Ben, iron truly sharpens iron.”
While Zobrist’s spiritual leadership and maturity spilled over onto those in the clubhouse, the young infielder was himself learning valuable lessons about the God he’d come to know.
Prior to attending the skills showcase that had sent him to Olivet Nazarene, Zobrist had asked God for clarity regarding his future. When God delivered so obviously by giving him streamlined direction, Zobrist began to consider God’s sovereignty in a new way.
“I’d asked for clarity, and clarity came,” Zobrist said. “Coming through that was a ding factor for me. I thought if God did that for college, then maybe He would do that for my spouse. Maybe He would do that for my career someday. Maybe He would make all these things happen in such a way that I wouldn’t have to question—I would just trust. That was essentially what started happening in my life.”
Throughout his time at Olivet, Zobrist continued asking for clarity. After a quality career with the Tigers, Zobrist prayed about and made the decision to transfer to Division-I Dallas Baptist University for his senior year. It was another God-ordained, prayed-up decision that paid off, as Zobrist was noticed and selected by the Houston Astros in the 2004 MLB Draft.
Unlike many major leaguers, Zobrist didn’t have to spend much time in the minors. Midway through the 2006 season, the Astros traded him to the Tampa Bay Rays, and he immediately took over as the team’s big-league shortstop. He endured two up-and-down years but altered his swing prior to the start of the 2008 season and returned to the team with a powerful bat—one that helped the Rays to their first World Series appearance in franchise history.
Zobrist continued his individual success in 2009, earning his first MLB All-Star nod and ranking among the American League’s top 25 in six major categories. And as his on-the-field stock has risen, so has his fame.
“I feel really humbled by the fact that I have a platform,” said Zobrist, who maximizes his status by speaking at faith-promoting events. “We have a passion to use where God has placed us in order to help kids pursue a relationship with Christ. The fruit we need to bear should be in multiplying believers, and we want to help them focus on the gospel and help generate a passion for Christ inside of them.”
The “we” Zobrist mentions is where his story takes a deeper spiritual turn.
Rewind back through his baseball career to his freshman year at Olivet when one of Zobrist’s teammates—a senior who was already married—introduced Zobrist to his wife’s sister via e-mail, thinking the two might hit it off.
Only a junior at Iowa City High School, though, young Julianna Gilmore was focused on a future that included more performing and singing than dating.
“Sure, I liked boys, but I was pretty career-focused on music,” said Julianna, now an independent Christian recording artist whose first release The Tree was widely praised in the media for its unique spin on Christian music. “I knew I was heading to Belmont University in Tennessee, so Ben and I talked on the phone, but we both knew it wasn’t really the right time.”
After a casual dialogue, Zobrist and Julianna decided to postpone communication indefinitely knowing that, if God wanted something to develop in the future, He’d make a way. The two parted ways on friendly terms and left it all up to divine circumstances.
It didn’t take long for God’s hand to move. A few months later, Zobrist was traveling with his team to Florida for spring games when he spotted a familiar face walking into the lobby of his Daytona Beach hotel. It was Julianna, whose family was also staying there.
“That was crazy,” Julianna said. “I was from Iowa; he was from Illinois, and we saw each other totally randomly.”
Added Zobrist: “It was obvious that God was bringing her back into my life. It was just a little glimpse. Nothing had changed circumstantially, so we didn’t start communicating immediately again, but from then on I just couldn’t get her out of my heart.”
Unable to forget about her, Zobrist eventually decided to take action by sending Julianna a casual e-mail. Little did he know how interesting his timing would be.
She had just ended a rough relationship and was frustrated with men. So, when Julianna received Zobrist’s e-mail, she felt more confused than ever.
“I just started bawling to my best friend, ranting that he was just this guy who was kind of in my life, but kind of not,” Julianna said, chuckling at the memory. “I told her that, from that day on, I was going to pray that God would either put him in my life or take him out, because I was tired of being teased by the idea of a mature, godly man.”
In Julianna’s eyes, Zobrist had already earned respect based on their previous interaction. She’d seen his maturity in the Lord and noticed a difference in how he treated her. Both her father and brother, who had gotten to know Zobrist through baseball, loved him—a small miracle in itself considering their protective nature. Now, it was time for something to change. It was time to either go for it or cut it off.
Refusing to take the lead in the relationship or try to control what would happen between them, Julianna went to the Lord with her own intentional prayers for clarification. Just two weeks later, she received her surprising answer: Ben Zobrist standing on her Tennessee doorstep.
By this time, Zobrist was a senior at Dallas Baptist and a teammate of Julianna’s brother. On a whim, the two boys had driven up to surprise Julianna on her birthday.
Talk about a birthday gift. Instead of flowers or candy, Zobrist knew what he would offer Julianna: a Christ-centered, intentional relationship.
“She was just this awesome, godly woman, and I’d kind of had her on a pedestal for a while,” Zobrist said. “I just decided to put myself out there and see if she had any interest.”
She did. But, according to Julianna, it was the result of divine intervention.
“It was just so clear that God was the One who wanted us together,” she said. “I’d been praying intentionally, and Ben had felt an urgency to know if I felt anything for him. I was finally like, ‘OK, Lord, I get it.’ We started dating that night.”
After a year and four months of dating, the Zobrists were engaged. They married on Dec. 17, 2005; Julianna’s senior year.
“Ben is very dedicated to everything he puts his mind to,” Julianna said. “That goes for his job, for the way he dated me and pursued me, the way he’s been my husband, and now the way he’s been a father to our son. He is just constantly talking with the Lord and trying to learn more about being the man God wants him to be. He has this amazing leadership strength from God through the Holy Spirit, and I respect him so much.”
For Zobrist, the love and respect is reciprocated. After four years of marriage, he has seen the blessings of his godly wife and counts it a privilege to be her husband, especially considering the path she could have taken.
A standout performer and singer at Belmont, Julianna had options for a full-time career in music. Even now, producers say she has not only the talent but also the charisma to make it big in the industry.
“I always tell people that Julianna is way more talented than I am,” Zobrist said with a proud smile regarding his wife and the mother of their one-year-old son, Zion. “She could be a very out-in-front-of-everybody musician if she wasn’t willing to stay with me all year long and to be at home with our son. She sacrificed a lot of her career to be able to be a wife and mother first. But our family roles are important to us.”
Instead of pursuing her music career, Julianna first pursues the family that God gave her. She remains active in the music industry, but only if it allows her to travel with her husband. Not willing to waste her talents, either, she exercises them creatively by scheduling shows that coordinate with her husband’s travel schedule.
In striking this kind of family balance, both Ben and Julianna hope to set a positive example not only for other married couples but also for their son as he grows.
“Zion needs a father figure; he needs to see Dad on the job working hard and Mom working hard to allow us to stay together,” Julianna said. “Ben is always saying that I sacrificed being a rock star to be his wife and a mom, and I told him the other day, ‘Heck yes I did! And I would never want it any other way.’ I would never want Zion to grow up and hear a reporter say that I could have done this or that. If that happened, I’d say, ‘Yes, I could have, but praise God I didn’t. And I wouldn’t change a moment.’ I want to be his mom, and I want to be Ben’s wife.”
Through their commitment to staying together on the road and at home, Ben and Julianna Zobrist have also developed a unique ministry. It’s not rare to see a flier advertising an event that features the testimony of the MLB All-Star and the special music of his wife.
Churches, specifically, are an important target for the Zobrists. While they understand that God has given them a platform to share their faith among both believers and non-believers, they have a specific desire to reach out to and build up fellow Christians.
“So many of us in the church need to be evangelized, too,” Zobrist said. “It’s important to make sure the gospel keeps going forward in our own hearts. We are still learning how to do that, but we know that Christians need to be encouraged, and we want to do that however we can.”
One way Zobrist has been able to reach that audience has been through FCA.
Active in the ministry throughout high school and college and even attending FCA Leadership Camp at the ministry’s former National Conference Center in Indiana, Zobrist makes frequent appearances at ministry events.
“Ben is really one of a kind,” said Tampa FCA Multi-Area Director Glen Shamblen, who enlisted the Zobrist speaking/singing duo for his 2009 banquet. “That night Ben just opened his heart and shared what Christ meant in his life. He literally stayed until he and I were the last pair to leave. He signed everything brought to him. Several times, I even saw him go to his knees so he could speak to younger children at their eye-level. Both he and Julianna took time with everyone who wanted it, and they made such an impact.”
Beyond the Tampa banquet, Zobrist also has made several appearances at area high schools through FCA, has spoken at the ministry’s local auction, and has even spent time ministering to groups of regional Huddle Coaches.
For Zobrist, reaching out through FCA is a natural fit.
“I loved my time in FCA as a student-athlete,” he said. “And now it’s been a great organization and a great vehicle for us to reach out to the community and reach the fellow believers who are on our hearts. We love when Christians are reaching into the community and schools and spreading the gospel.”
Through his and Julianna’s appearances in these settings, Zobrist also is able to take a particular stance that sets him apart from many of today’s pro athletes, even those who are Christian, and that is his desire to share the whole truth.
“Even as Christians, everyone wants us to give a message about hard work and character, but the message we carry is an exclusive message—one about Christ and His mystery,” he said. “I know that I’ve glossed over it in the past. I’ve failed to mention sin and what Christ has actually done for me in taking my penalty on Himself. I’ve failed to mention how unworthy I really am, and that that’s why Christ had to die.”
It’s a heavy message, but one that Zobrist feels compelled to tell. He’s heard enough of the “fluff” and knows that the gospel—the full gospel—must be shared in order to make the impact it should.
“The last thing we want people to do is come away from a message about Christ thinking that it’s just about trying to become a better person,” he said. “Christ didn’t come just to make us better people. He came to die for us and to let us know that He was the better person. I want people to know that everything good in me comes from Him and not my own effort.”
In a world that glorifies batting averages and Gold Gloves, that message packs a punch, especially when it’s combined with the testimony of a beautiful rock star who loves the Lord just as much.
They’ve heard the statistics—the ones that tell how kids from the millennial generation admire entertainers more than any other public figures. So, Ben and Julianna Zobrist are using their time in the spotlight to redirect all watching eyes and point them to the cross.
“It’s really kind of sobering when we think about the responsibility we’ve been given,” Julianna said, “but it’s such an opportunity to spread the gospel and make disciples, which is why we’re here. We are both trying hard, but we’ve both learned that success only comes when we abide in the Lord and just walk with Him and love Him and the things of Him. When we do that, it will be obvious where we stand.”
Zobrist agrees.
“In Scripture, we’re told that if we stay connected to the vine, we are going to bear fruit,” he said. “The way we bear that fruit may not be the way people think, but what God has taught me over the years as He’s kept me in the game is that ministry can happen anywhere—wherever we work; wherever we go—but it has to happen in our own hearts first. Then, He will take our lives and connect them to those around us. It doesn’t matter if it’s a baseball field, a clubhouse, a backyard or a neighborhood. Wherever we go, we will be His vessels.”
HAVE A GREAT WEEK!
JAKE
Monday, May 3, 2010
Bumpersticker Man
The other day I was parked at a stop-light in Ames. Ahead of me was a car loudly decorated with lots of bumper stickers showcasing this driver’s atheist beliefs. He had one of those magnets that make a mockery out of the Christian fish symbol that said ‘evolve’ and it had little feet on it. Amongst a bunch of other anti-Christian stickers one of them read “If you’ve been born again, do you have two belly buttons?” That one actually made me laugh out loud and by the way while I was scanning this guy’s car I was also talking to Jake on the phone and he knew that I was not focusing on our conversation because I cannot at all multi-task in my mind (in body yes, but not in mind). This was evident from my “yeah, uh-huh, yeah,” responses to his jabbering. So, I told him to hang on while I continued to read through the 89 bumper stickers on this guy’s car before the light turned green.
Now, let me say that I was laughing at all of this hocus pocus on the outside, but on the inside when I see these sorts of things I always get all revved up. I feel attacked, I feel mad, and on this particular day I found myself thinking a very sinful and judgmental thought that went like this: “God, why don’t you just strike that driver down right now?” Pretty honest and scary revelation of my heart, but there you have it folks. That’s what I was thinking, and I’ve thought it before like the time when I went to an atheist vs. Christian debate on campus. That’s an entirely different story, but you get the picture. Well, after I thought this, God put a few things in my mind.
First, I thought of Saul. Saul was a man who horribly persecuted Christians. To get a good picture of his story you can read Acts chapters 8 & 9 (and the rest of his story is continued throughout Acts). It’s a pretty crazy one about a man who hated Christians to the point that he approved of the stoning death of Stephen who spoke out for Jesus (Acts 7:54-60), he began to destroy the Christian church by going home to home and dragging off believers and throwing them in prison (Acts 8:3), and he threatened to murder Jesus’ disciples (Acts 9:1). BUT then, he had a pretty crazy encounter with Jesus in Acts chapter 9 which is a MUST read. After this encounter God drastically changes his life, he is filled with the Holy Spirit, is baptized and he begins preaching in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God (he also starts being referred to as Paul later on in Acts). The last verse in the book of Acts says this of Paul: Boldly and without a hindrance he preached the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ (Acts 28:31). He also went on to write numerous books of the New Testament like Romans, 1 & 2 Corinthians, Philippians, and others. Wowza. That is what I call a transformed life.
Then I thought of the guy who wrote this book:
The author is Lee Strobel who in this book traces his journey from being a professed atheist to a believer in Jesus Christ. He started as a skeptic of Christianity and began an investigation as to whether or not there was credible evidence that Jesus really was the Son of God. He approached this investigation from a journalist stand-point, and he concluded it as a Christ-follower.
And then do you know what former NON-Christ follower and NON-God glorifier was brought to mind next? Me. Myself. And I. The following verse is a good description of me before I knew Jesus: She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked, but she knows it not (Proverbs 5:6). And this one described me too: As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath (Ephesians 2:1-3). God’s wrath that is. According to the Bible, those who have not whole-heartedly accepted Jesus as their Savior and received forgiveness for their sins will be punished with God’s wrath. And that used to be me. Before I knew Jesus. As God gave me this reality check that I was also once deserving of the condemnation that I was silently petitioning for this guy, I felt pretty humbled to say the very least.
In these moments I remembered that when Jesus was hanging on the cross, after being falsely accused, insulted, and then crucified, he didn’t petition God to have even one of the Jewish leaders, Roman politicians, soldiers or bystanders that rejected him to be struck down. Instead as he was being crucified he said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34) I want to be like that. Even if it’s only in the driver’s seat of my car, staring rejection of Jesus right in the face in the form of bumper stickers.
Then I felt it. This little feeling inside that whispered for me to try out Jesus’ attitude. To pray. To pray for the driver in front of me. Gulp. This was hard. But, I put myself into this man’s shoes and remembered that I too was sitting in his boat only a few years ago. And, I prayed from there, that God would open this man’s eyes to truth the way he did for Saul, and the way he did for Lee Strobel, and the way he did for me.
Over the next week I found myself praying for this guy again. And I found myself even more thankful for my own salavation....more than ever before. Thank you God that even when we reject you, your forgiveness stands in wait. Thank you God for my reality check on South Duff Avenue that I too was once under Your wrath, but have instead repented and found Your mercy and grace. Thank you that you didn’t strike me down before I came to a knowledge of truth and surrendered my heart to You. Thank you for the new life you have given me in Jesus….certainly not a life with two belly buttons, but a life beyond anything I could have ever imagined.
2 Timothy 2:24-26
And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
Now, let me say that I was laughing at all of this hocus pocus on the outside, but on the inside when I see these sorts of things I always get all revved up. I feel attacked, I feel mad, and on this particular day I found myself thinking a very sinful and judgmental thought that went like this: “God, why don’t you just strike that driver down right now?” Pretty honest and scary revelation of my heart, but there you have it folks. That’s what I was thinking, and I’ve thought it before like the time when I went to an atheist vs. Christian debate on campus. That’s an entirely different story, but you get the picture. Well, after I thought this, God put a few things in my mind.
First, I thought of Saul. Saul was a man who horribly persecuted Christians. To get a good picture of his story you can read Acts chapters 8 & 9 (and the rest of his story is continued throughout Acts). It’s a pretty crazy one about a man who hated Christians to the point that he approved of the stoning death of Stephen who spoke out for Jesus (Acts 7:54-60), he began to destroy the Christian church by going home to home and dragging off believers and throwing them in prison (Acts 8:3), and he threatened to murder Jesus’ disciples (Acts 9:1). BUT then, he had a pretty crazy encounter with Jesus in Acts chapter 9 which is a MUST read. After this encounter God drastically changes his life, he is filled with the Holy Spirit, is baptized and he begins preaching in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God (he also starts being referred to as Paul later on in Acts). The last verse in the book of Acts says this of Paul: Boldly and without a hindrance he preached the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ (Acts 28:31). He also went on to write numerous books of the New Testament like Romans, 1 & 2 Corinthians, Philippians, and others. Wowza. That is what I call a transformed life.
Then I thought of the guy who wrote this book:
The author is Lee Strobel who in this book traces his journey from being a professed atheist to a believer in Jesus Christ. He started as a skeptic of Christianity and began an investigation as to whether or not there was credible evidence that Jesus really was the Son of God. He approached this investigation from a journalist stand-point, and he concluded it as a Christ-follower.And then do you know what former NON-Christ follower and NON-God glorifier was brought to mind next? Me. Myself. And I. The following verse is a good description of me before I knew Jesus: She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked, but she knows it not (Proverbs 5:6). And this one described me too: As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath (Ephesians 2:1-3). God’s wrath that is. According to the Bible, those who have not whole-heartedly accepted Jesus as their Savior and received forgiveness for their sins will be punished with God’s wrath. And that used to be me. Before I knew Jesus. As God gave me this reality check that I was also once deserving of the condemnation that I was silently petitioning for this guy, I felt pretty humbled to say the very least.
In these moments I remembered that when Jesus was hanging on the cross, after being falsely accused, insulted, and then crucified, he didn’t petition God to have even one of the Jewish leaders, Roman politicians, soldiers or bystanders that rejected him to be struck down. Instead as he was being crucified he said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34) I want to be like that. Even if it’s only in the driver’s seat of my car, staring rejection of Jesus right in the face in the form of bumper stickers.
Then I felt it. This little feeling inside that whispered for me to try out Jesus’ attitude. To pray. To pray for the driver in front of me. Gulp. This was hard. But, I put myself into this man’s shoes and remembered that I too was sitting in his boat only a few years ago. And, I prayed from there, that God would open this man’s eyes to truth the way he did for Saul, and the way he did for Lee Strobel, and the way he did for me.
Over the next week I found myself praying for this guy again. And I found myself even more thankful for my own salavation....more than ever before. Thank you God that even when we reject you, your forgiveness stands in wait. Thank you God for my reality check on South Duff Avenue that I too was once under Your wrath, but have instead repented and found Your mercy and grace. Thank you that you didn’t strike me down before I came to a knowledge of truth and surrendered my heart to You. Thank you for the new life you have given me in Jesus….certainly not a life with two belly buttons, but a life beyond anything I could have ever imagined.
2 Timothy 2:24-26
And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Facing Death with Hope
I am completely switching gears from yesterday to my post today, but I just really wanted to share this blog with you:
http://laneannmiller.blogspot.com/
I have been following this blog for only 2 weeks now and it is incredible. This blog was started by a 47 year old wife and Mom who just last week lost a very short battle with cancer (6 1/2 months). The blog is being continued by her husband, and I am begging you to read his posts. This family has a strong faith in Jesus, and their blog is an honest look at what it is like to have a family member face death as a believer in Jesus. When you know you will be in heaven with Jesus when you die, you have a completely different perspective on death than those who do not have this hope. This perspective continues to shine through on every single one of this husband’s post. I have been so challenged in my faith by this family. They just have such an awesome testimony, and they are allowing others to read in on their grieving process and all the while still giving God glory for Lane Ann’s life and also giving Him glory in her death. I am sharing an excerpt of one of the husband’s posts below, but I hope you click on the blog link above and read all of the other ones as well. I do not know this family, but the husband is the brother of a different blog (adoption) that I have been following for over a year. This excerpt is just one of the heart-wrenching, honest, and truth-filled posts that this husband has written. I know you will be heart-broken and yet filled with hope as you take in his words. This excerpt was written a few days before his wife passed away….
Final Stages - an honest description of death
Last night Lane Ann slipped into a coma. Since one's hearing is the last to go, Jessie read aloud to her mom the multiple posts on Lane Ann's facebook wall. I read the many cards to her that have come in the last few days. She was at peace and we waited expectantly as she slept. Surely this would be the time God would send His angels to come and get her. I drifted into a kind of dreamy half-sleep prepared to wake up at the slightest hint that They had arrived. But They did not come. As my exhausted spirit floated between consciousness and exhausted bliss my mind played through the scenes of the last six and one half months.
The echoing voices of our many doctors disturbed my relaxed slumber as seconds turned into days - "I'm afraid you have colon cancer and it is in your liver as well. I'm so sorry." "You'll need surgery immediately." "More tumors than I can count." "I'm afraid it is stage four. Treatable but not curable." "It is impossible for medical science to cure this type of cancer." "I've never seen cancer spread this quickly." "This last chemo treatment didn't work. Your tumors are growing again." "You have weeks to months left to live."
Other memories flooded my sluggish thoughts - "Tim, am I going to die?" "Lane Ann, if God doesn't heal you, yes, sweetheart you're going to die." (Those were the hardest words I have ever spoken.) "What do we do now?" "We trust God and we live. We plant a garden and grow flowers and eat shrimp in Florida. We finish decorating the house and we love one another like there is no tomorrow."
We both decided to focus intently on God's desire for healing her body. As time passed, it became clear God was going to heal her alright, but not this side of eternity. The night passed and she actually awoke for a brief moment and rolled her head to the side to kiss my cheek. Then, as quickly as she awoke, she went back to sleep.
Ever since that tender moment she has been experiencing what is called "terminal restlessness." This is a state where the illness causes restless behavior like reaching into the air, rolling around, and trying to get out of bed. Lane Ann's blood pressure is low and the oxygen needed to flow to the brain is not getting there causing her to talk senselessly as her eyes roll back into her head. Additionally, her liver is not metabolizing properly and apparently causing considerable pain. I was not prepared for this stage of death. It has absolutely rocked my emotional world. How could this happen to my beautiful, dignified, intelligent friend? It is ripping my guts out. I know this too will pass but not near quick enough for me. Our wonderful Hospice nurse is working overtime to get the proper medications to ease Lane Ann's suffering.
Even though this has been an emotionally grueling day, we can still feel the prayers of you guys. Yesterday, Grant and I (I am so proud of him) made arrangements with the funeral home and also purchased the needed cemetery plots. I never thought I would be buying cemetery plots at age 47. As morbid as it sounds, we could sense God's direction leading us ever closer to our moment of celebration. We Will NOT be mourning the dead but celebrating the living.
I hope that reading this excerpt causes you to take some time to read his other posts - and if you do - make sure to read this one from start to finish http://laneannmiller.blogspot.com/2010/04/visitationfuneral.html
http://laneannmiller.blogspot.com/
I have been following this blog for only 2 weeks now and it is incredible. This blog was started by a 47 year old wife and Mom who just last week lost a very short battle with cancer (6 1/2 months). The blog is being continued by her husband, and I am begging you to read his posts. This family has a strong faith in Jesus, and their blog is an honest look at what it is like to have a family member face death as a believer in Jesus. When you know you will be in heaven with Jesus when you die, you have a completely different perspective on death than those who do not have this hope. This perspective continues to shine through on every single one of this husband’s post. I have been so challenged in my faith by this family. They just have such an awesome testimony, and they are allowing others to read in on their grieving process and all the while still giving God glory for Lane Ann’s life and also giving Him glory in her death. I am sharing an excerpt of one of the husband’s posts below, but I hope you click on the blog link above and read all of the other ones as well. I do not know this family, but the husband is the brother of a different blog (adoption) that I have been following for over a year. This excerpt is just one of the heart-wrenching, honest, and truth-filled posts that this husband has written. I know you will be heart-broken and yet filled with hope as you take in his words. This excerpt was written a few days before his wife passed away….
Final Stages - an honest description of death
Last night Lane Ann slipped into a coma. Since one's hearing is the last to go, Jessie read aloud to her mom the multiple posts on Lane Ann's facebook wall. I read the many cards to her that have come in the last few days. She was at peace and we waited expectantly as she slept. Surely this would be the time God would send His angels to come and get her. I drifted into a kind of dreamy half-sleep prepared to wake up at the slightest hint that They had arrived. But They did not come. As my exhausted spirit floated between consciousness and exhausted bliss my mind played through the scenes of the last six and one half months.
The echoing voices of our many doctors disturbed my relaxed slumber as seconds turned into days - "I'm afraid you have colon cancer and it is in your liver as well. I'm so sorry." "You'll need surgery immediately." "More tumors than I can count." "I'm afraid it is stage four. Treatable but not curable." "It is impossible for medical science to cure this type of cancer." "I've never seen cancer spread this quickly." "This last chemo treatment didn't work. Your tumors are growing again." "You have weeks to months left to live."
Other memories flooded my sluggish thoughts - "Tim, am I going to die?" "Lane Ann, if God doesn't heal you, yes, sweetheart you're going to die." (Those were the hardest words I have ever spoken.) "What do we do now?" "We trust God and we live. We plant a garden and grow flowers and eat shrimp in Florida. We finish decorating the house and we love one another like there is no tomorrow."
We both decided to focus intently on God's desire for healing her body. As time passed, it became clear God was going to heal her alright, but not this side of eternity. The night passed and she actually awoke for a brief moment and rolled her head to the side to kiss my cheek. Then, as quickly as she awoke, she went back to sleep.
Ever since that tender moment she has been experiencing what is called "terminal restlessness." This is a state where the illness causes restless behavior like reaching into the air, rolling around, and trying to get out of bed. Lane Ann's blood pressure is low and the oxygen needed to flow to the brain is not getting there causing her to talk senselessly as her eyes roll back into her head. Additionally, her liver is not metabolizing properly and apparently causing considerable pain. I was not prepared for this stage of death. It has absolutely rocked my emotional world. How could this happen to my beautiful, dignified, intelligent friend? It is ripping my guts out. I know this too will pass but not near quick enough for me. Our wonderful Hospice nurse is working overtime to get the proper medications to ease Lane Ann's suffering.
Even though this has been an emotionally grueling day, we can still feel the prayers of you guys. Yesterday, Grant and I (I am so proud of him) made arrangements with the funeral home and also purchased the needed cemetery plots. I never thought I would be buying cemetery plots at age 47. As morbid as it sounds, we could sense God's direction leading us ever closer to our moment of celebration. We Will NOT be mourning the dead but celebrating the living.
I hope that reading this excerpt causes you to take some time to read his other posts - and if you do - make sure to read this one from start to finish http://laneannmiller.blogspot.com/2010/04/visitationfuneral.html
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