Each week I will be posting Jake's Thought for the Week which he sends out to all the parents in his Kingdom Hoops program. Here it is for this week:
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)
Henry David Thoreau once wrote:
'The smallest seed of faith is better than the largest fruit of happiness.' Faith is a seed of infinite potential. Faith holds all possibilities within it. Yet, what does faith mean in our modern age of reason? Faith seems not quite natural to the modern mind. Mind is rational while faith is irrational. Mind is logical; faith illogical. In our modern culture, we have become more dedicated to doubt than to unbridled possibility. We are more committed to the calculations of the rational mind, than to the holistic wisdom of spirit. We have zeroed in on a partial reality, without taking into account the larger picture right in front of us waiting to be discovered.
This past weekend my family made our annual trip to Minnesota to spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa Sullivan and of course to see Uncle Nick. It was a weekend of great fun!! On Friday we hung out as a family catching up on everything you just can’t catch up on via email or over the phone. On Saturday we had our annual labor day trip to the Minnesota State Fair, and Sunday brought a journey to the Mall of America with great anticipation of Grandma and Grandpa Sullivan spoiling us all - even at the age of 27 years old. :)
As we finished shopping on Sunday afternoon and piled back into the car to head back to the house for dinner I began preparing myself for the questions my Dad would have for me when we got home. You might be wondering just what these 'questions' are all about. Well, every visit home my Dad - who has worked in Law Enforcement for over 30 years, has been the Police Chief in Oakdale, Minnesota for the past 22 years, and has a PHD in Business Law - challenges me with questions surrounding my career, family, and any of the other crazy things I may be up to. Ever since I was a young boy I never followed the beat to the same drummer as everyone else and my Dad realized this very early on. So, while I would be making life altering decisions that quite often seemed out of this world it was accompanied by a couple hundred questions to make sure I was thinking through everything clearly.
Some of you may be thinking my Dad is crazy.....and you are right! But I love this part of my trip home more than any other part as it forces me to be able to clearly communicate my vision and sharpens my focus on the details. Most of the time when I am released from the stand I am left pondering many valuable points of view and it allows me to be more successful when I return back to my real life in Iowa.
I am always well prepared for these question and answer sessions. Over the years I have come to understand what my Dad is going to ask and thus have a great response waiting on the tip of my tongue. I also understand that no matter what my answer is he is going to play on the opposite team and ask even harder questions that I may not have thought through.
So, I figured as we all headed out to the deck waiting on the pizza to arrive Sunday evening that I would be able to answer all of his questions with clarity because there was no stone unturned in my eyes.
However, this night things were a little different. Of course I had great answers with questions regarding Kingdom Hoops on a general business side, I had all the answers about 'why Africa?', and had every detail in precise order. That was until my Dad asked me the following questions: What happens if A, B, and C don’t all happen for Kingdom Hoops - how will you feed your family? What happens if you adopt these two young boys from Africa and they resent you for removing them from their country? What happens if you adopt these two young boys and it ruins what you have right now for your family? Why would people trust you with their money in Africa when people before you have not been able to accomplish what you are setting out to accomplish? What if because of corruption in the country that you make this happen and then the government just comes and takes it? What if it all fails?
Pretty good questions huh? He always makes me think through things! However, this time none of those questions could be answered with any logical answer. The only answer was I able to formulate was that in those situations I had to rely on my faith in God. I knew without a doubt that God had led me down these new paths and I was sure His purpose would be fulfilled. What was crazy about this answer was that to my Dad, who is a great thinker, this response may not be a logical answer or something to risk everything upon.
Usually after I give my answers during our Q & A sessions I get a look back from my Dad like I am slightly out of my mind. But this time whenever I gave the faith response my Dad would simply move on to the next question. As the pizza arrived and we went on to other conversations I wondered how I could explain the answers to his questions with more insight and evidence and prove that his suggested scenarios would not happen. Or was the faith answer my best option? Then I began to ponder 'what really is faith? What does it really mean? How do you know if you have faith? Is faith a good enough answer? Does real faith mean that I should never doubt? What do others think when they hear the word faith?!
So, I did what all small minds would do and I went to my favorite search engine Google and typed in capital letters WHAT IS FAITH?
The first item that caught my attention was an article that cited the following verse:
James 2: 18-19 But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.
I guess faith is certainly not what we say but what we do. Do we see the impossible and reach for it? Or does our doubt smother the things we could do if only we had a certain belief that God's hand was on our lives?
Does this mean we will understand everything? No, we will never understand everything. Faith means trusting in God even though we do not always understand and acting upon that trust in order to accomplish His purpose for our lives.
As I was making the three hour drive home I was again pondering my discussion with my Dad. As I thought through my answers and whether or not they made sense to him I started to think about those 7 or 8 times when I said, 'I don’t know, but I have faith that God has led me in this direction'.
But, then I began to think about all those times I doubted. All those days of doubt prior to the first official tryout for Kingdom Hoops. Who would come? Why did the split between myself and Dickson have to occur? Am I sure this was the right thing to do? Are we really able to accomplish these goals we have in Africa? Can my wife and I really afford the adoption? When is the adoption process that we have been in for over a year going to come to an end? Why, Why, When, When, Doubt, Doubt, Doubt!So, I went back to my good friend Google and typed in Doubt + Faith. To my astonishment Matthew 28 popped up on my many options to click on.
Matthew 28: 16-17 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted.
If we look at that passage just real quick the disciples were standing on top of a mountain with Jesus after the resurrection and yet they doubted. So, does doubt change the sincerity of our faith? Absolutely not as even in the presence of Jesus the disciples doubted, but what separates the sincerity of our faith is whether we allow doubt to defeat our faith. Doubt is natural as we are all human just like the disciples, but it is when we can look past that doubt and see just what is possible through the faith we have been given.
Faith is not an intelligence contest. The faith that saves does not come from philosophical arguments that answer every doubt. Faith comes from God. If we rely on having answers to every question, we are not relying on God.
“So we fix our eyes, not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.... We live by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 4:18; 5:7)
As we walk through this life, we trust in our great, caring Shepherd to lead us safely. At times the path may wind through green pastures and beside still waters. At other times it may traverse the valley of the shadow of death. No matter the path we are taken on, we can have great comfort in the faith that God has given those whose hearts have been ready and eyes are open to see the impossible....and reach for it.
Jake Sullivan
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Adventures of a City Boy
How many tools does it take to save a mouse from the window well?
When you were raised in the city, it takes at least this many:
Daddy had a few tricks up his sleeve to save the mouse.
Like the sand toy container and sand rake method.
And the snow shovel method.
But, it was hard to complete a mouse saving mission when every time the mouse scurried around Daddy did a little dance and missed the mouse. JJ thought the mouse saving mission might end poorly.
I mean, look what happened to the last guy!
And again I ask....how many tools does it take to save a mouse from the window well?
Well, for a mommy it takes a sandcastle shovel, and a sandcastle bucket.
And it takes a mommy 2 seconds to scoop up the mouse and get him in the bucket.
Yes, this job is not for the faint of heart.
Jayla was proud of her mommy's catch.
JJ opted out of taking a peek. And, Daddy got to do the fun part, and released the mouse in our neighbors field.
Sorry neighbor, we couldn't bring ourselves to bop him on the head....he's all yours! :)Wednesday, September 2, 2009
When I was a little girl....
When I was a little girl, my Grandma used to rock me in the rocking chair and sing 'Jesus Loves Me' as she held me on her lap. Whether it was because I was upset, winding down, snuggling, or just for something to do, this was one thing that my Grandma always did with me. I have lots of other memories of us singing together too....remember Psalty - the big, blue, singing, bible?
Well, my Grandma kept my Psalty tapes out on her front porch during the summer time, and I have memories of us sitting out there, singing along to the kids songs on the Psalty tapes. In fact, when I became a mom, the first thing I went in search for were Psalty songs....and I was lucky that my mom was able to hunt them down online!
Last weekend we were at my mom's house, and as I searched for some perfect tomatoes in my mom's garden, I heard that old familiar 'Jesus Loves Me' tune. I looked over, and there on the porch swing I saw Grandma singing to Jayla & JJ:
My mom happened to be right there with her camera, and caught the precious moments perfectly.
Now she's a Great-Grandma, but she's still singing the same old tune!
Well, my Grandma kept my Psalty tapes out on her front porch during the summer time, and I have memories of us sitting out there, singing along to the kids songs on the Psalty tapes. In fact, when I became a mom, the first thing I went in search for were Psalty songs....and I was lucky that my mom was able to hunt them down online!Last weekend we were at my mom's house, and as I searched for some perfect tomatoes in my mom's garden, I heard that old familiar 'Jesus Loves Me' tune. I looked over, and there on the porch swing I saw Grandma singing to Jayla & JJ:
My mom happened to be right there with her camera, and caught the precious moments perfectly.
Now she's a Great-Grandma, but she's still singing the same old tune!Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Adoption Update
Warning – LONG post ahead! :)
Today and practically all weekend I have been thinking about birthmoms within the context of adoption. This is because one week ago we received an email from our social worker. Within the email she noted that Pastor Gideon still had not been able to contact the orphanage a few hours outside of Accra to gather information on the youngest child there. However, attached to her email was information on children available for adoption that lived right in Accra (which is where the adoption office is). We previously had this information, but this time it included photos of the children, and a note that the youngest boy (5ish) could indeed be adopted alone and without his older brother who was also available for adoption. When we had first received this information a month or so ago, it was thought that the two were to be adopted as a sibling group, so we kind of bypassed it since there were no other young boys than him, and we had not considered adopting a sibling group. After I read the email from our social worker I started thinking that this could be the one. As I sat there thinking and praying, an email popped up from Jake with the subject line, RE: both. Of course I knew what he was going to say without even opening it up which is why I sat there for awhile because I was so completely overwhelmed. When I finally did open it up it said ‘Let’s take them both.’ Meaning, both this 5 yr old and his older brother.
It’s been about a week since that all happened and now that I’ve taken a few deep breaths I am actually annoyed with myself that I even for a moment considered breaking up the sibling group and only adopting one. Sometimes I am too much of a thinker and not enough of a feeler. I think about all the practical things, how will we do this, how will we do that, etc. etc. And Jake brings me back down to earth. His words rang in my ears Let's take both, he says. Just a plain, simple, unhindered, unworried, calm, thought. He puts the feelings first, the family first. It’s so obvious now, but I was so overwhelmed that day and for a few days after about adopting two. Thoughts on all that is a different post, which I might write about some other day. Anyways, the point of this entire post is that these two boys are currently residing with their mother in Accra. Their father died about 4 years ago, and the mother has become overburdened with being a single mother and being unemployed. In the welfare notes it states that they have no home and could be considered to be living a nomadic life. The mother currently is stated as wishing the children be adopted. Seeing that they were living with their mother gave me a huge lump in my throat. A) Because selfishly I did not want to embark on another journey that could end in the way it did with Solomon. And B) because I do not want this mother to give up her children. She has already lost her husband, and if her children get adopted she will have nothing left. Why, God, do these mothers have to give up their children? Is there some other way? It just rips apart my heart and soul to think about the grief and pain these mothers are going through in making these hard decisions.
Jake and I prayed about this all for a few days, and decided that this is where God has led us right now, and there is clearly a need within this family's situation. These two boys are residing right in Accra which gives P. Gideon immediate access to them, their mother, and the social welfare office. No motorcycle, transportation, or travel needed to communicate with the family and work on documents. We have given P. Gideon our interest in pursuing the adoption of these two boys, and now we will wait to hear back from the mother of the boys. The mother’s final decision is still up in the air. P Gideon will be taking the mother to speak to the Dept of Social Welfare sometime this week to ensure that she is counseled and has a clear and complete understanding of adoption. All of us are taking the correct steps to be on the same page, and know that this is all very tentative. Jake and I have just been praying that if God would have us adopt these two boys, that He would give their mother a peace about the decision. On Friday we were asked to write a letter to the mother explaining our plans for the boys, the life they would have, how we would keep them connected to their culture, future visits to Ghana, our work in Ghana, the possibility of mailing updates, etc. The purpose of the letter would be in no way to convince the mother to make her decision final, but to act as a nice gesture that would give her an idea of who we are, and to provide her some sort of reassurance and peace in making this decision. This was the hardest letter I have ever written in my life. I have confidence that we can offer her children a wonderful opportunity, but I just hate that she has to make this decision. How can anyone offer comfort in this sort of situation? My only rest comes in knowing that God has a plan for this mother and her children….whether that be for her two boys to join our family, or for them to find a way to make it and stay together. I don’t know the answer, but God does and I trust what He decides.
I often wish this adoption journey was a little easier. :) But then again, after I wish that I remember that it is only through the bumps in the road that we learn and grow in our faith. The funny thing is that going into it, I thought this part of being matched with a child would be the easiest out of all of it. I envisioned just getting an email one day saying here is the one that we have for you…let’s talk paperwork. To be honest, I thought that we would be adopting straight from some sort of orphanage and that we would be ‘assigned’ a child. I don’t think either Jake or I realized the desperate need of children living within a family setting but not able to get their basic needs met….at least this is certainly the case in Ghana. I am so excited at the thought of being able to adopt these two boys, but it is so bittersweet because my heart is just burdened with heaviness for this mother. I can’t help but put myself in her shoes, and my excitement turns into sorrow when I think about all that she must be feeling at this point. This part of becoming matched with our child has been the hardest, most emotional , most prayerful part of it all. I feel so vulnerable right now. And overwhelmed. And with every tendency to worry about every detail. I take comfort in this verse:
2 Corinthians 12:10
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Today and practically all weekend I have been thinking about birthmoms within the context of adoption. This is because one week ago we received an email from our social worker. Within the email she noted that Pastor Gideon still had not been able to contact the orphanage a few hours outside of Accra to gather information on the youngest child there. However, attached to her email was information on children available for adoption that lived right in Accra (which is where the adoption office is). We previously had this information, but this time it included photos of the children, and a note that the youngest boy (5ish) could indeed be adopted alone and without his older brother who was also available for adoption. When we had first received this information a month or so ago, it was thought that the two were to be adopted as a sibling group, so we kind of bypassed it since there were no other young boys than him, and we had not considered adopting a sibling group. After I read the email from our social worker I started thinking that this could be the one. As I sat there thinking and praying, an email popped up from Jake with the subject line, RE: both. Of course I knew what he was going to say without even opening it up which is why I sat there for awhile because I was so completely overwhelmed. When I finally did open it up it said ‘Let’s take them both.’ Meaning, both this 5 yr old and his older brother.
It’s been about a week since that all happened and now that I’ve taken a few deep breaths I am actually annoyed with myself that I even for a moment considered breaking up the sibling group and only adopting one. Sometimes I am too much of a thinker and not enough of a feeler. I think about all the practical things, how will we do this, how will we do that, etc. etc. And Jake brings me back down to earth. His words rang in my ears Let's take both, he says. Just a plain, simple, unhindered, unworried, calm, thought. He puts the feelings first, the family first. It’s so obvious now, but I was so overwhelmed that day and for a few days after about adopting two. Thoughts on all that is a different post, which I might write about some other day. Anyways, the point of this entire post is that these two boys are currently residing with their mother in Accra. Their father died about 4 years ago, and the mother has become overburdened with being a single mother and being unemployed. In the welfare notes it states that they have no home and could be considered to be living a nomadic life. The mother currently is stated as wishing the children be adopted. Seeing that they were living with their mother gave me a huge lump in my throat. A) Because selfishly I did not want to embark on another journey that could end in the way it did with Solomon. And B) because I do not want this mother to give up her children. She has already lost her husband, and if her children get adopted she will have nothing left. Why, God, do these mothers have to give up their children? Is there some other way? It just rips apart my heart and soul to think about the grief and pain these mothers are going through in making these hard decisions.
Jake and I prayed about this all for a few days, and decided that this is where God has led us right now, and there is clearly a need within this family's situation. These two boys are residing right in Accra which gives P. Gideon immediate access to them, their mother, and the social welfare office. No motorcycle, transportation, or travel needed to communicate with the family and work on documents. We have given P. Gideon our interest in pursuing the adoption of these two boys, and now we will wait to hear back from the mother of the boys. The mother’s final decision is still up in the air. P Gideon will be taking the mother to speak to the Dept of Social Welfare sometime this week to ensure that she is counseled and has a clear and complete understanding of adoption. All of us are taking the correct steps to be on the same page, and know that this is all very tentative. Jake and I have just been praying that if God would have us adopt these two boys, that He would give their mother a peace about the decision. On Friday we were asked to write a letter to the mother explaining our plans for the boys, the life they would have, how we would keep them connected to their culture, future visits to Ghana, our work in Ghana, the possibility of mailing updates, etc. The purpose of the letter would be in no way to convince the mother to make her decision final, but to act as a nice gesture that would give her an idea of who we are, and to provide her some sort of reassurance and peace in making this decision. This was the hardest letter I have ever written in my life. I have confidence that we can offer her children a wonderful opportunity, but I just hate that she has to make this decision. How can anyone offer comfort in this sort of situation? My only rest comes in knowing that God has a plan for this mother and her children….whether that be for her two boys to join our family, or for them to find a way to make it and stay together. I don’t know the answer, but God does and I trust what He decides.
I often wish this adoption journey was a little easier. :) But then again, after I wish that I remember that it is only through the bumps in the road that we learn and grow in our faith. The funny thing is that going into it, I thought this part of being matched with a child would be the easiest out of all of it. I envisioned just getting an email one day saying here is the one that we have for you…let’s talk paperwork. To be honest, I thought that we would be adopting straight from some sort of orphanage and that we would be ‘assigned’ a child. I don’t think either Jake or I realized the desperate need of children living within a family setting but not able to get their basic needs met….at least this is certainly the case in Ghana. I am so excited at the thought of being able to adopt these two boys, but it is so bittersweet because my heart is just burdened with heaviness for this mother. I can’t help but put myself in her shoes, and my excitement turns into sorrow when I think about all that she must be feeling at this point. This part of becoming matched with our child has been the hardest, most emotional , most prayerful part of it all. I feel so vulnerable right now. And overwhelmed. And with every tendency to worry about every detail. I take comfort in this verse:
2 Corinthians 12:10
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Jake's Thought for the Week
Each Monday I will be posting Jake's Thought for the Week which he sends out to all the parents of the players in his Kingdom Hoops program. Here it is for this week:
Deuteronomy 6:5-9
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
As we begin this new season there will be so many lessons to be learned. Not just lessons on the basketball court, but lessons that will stay with your child for a lifetime. Your sons and daughters will learn how to shoot the basketball, will increase their basketball IQ’s, will go back to their communities and probably become the best players in their schools; but the most important skills this upcoming season will not be the ones that translate into success on the basketball court. Rather it will be the skills that will help them become successful off the basketball court because of the guidance you provide them.
LESSONS FROM MY DAD-
Lesson One: As I was getting involved in athletics as a 9 year old I quickly found out that I did not like to lose, I did not like to strike out, I did not like to miss a shot, and I did not like when a teammate screwed up. For the most part I did not like when things did not go my way. I suffered from something called lack of self-control. This was something I struggled with while growing up especially as I began to play at a higher level. It all came to a fold one day when I was 12 years old and completely lost my composure in a traveling basketball game against a team in Minnesota called the Osseo Orioles. We lost the game by 30 and I was sure that night my life was going to end. Not because we lost the game, but because my Dad was the coach and I had to get into the car and ride all the way home with him. I thought I might be better off hitchhiking home but I never had time to even make that an option. Let’s just say the ride home was not real fun or exciting; especially as my brother sat in the back of the minivan being highly entertained by the speech I was being given with my life dangling in the balance. I went to bed with large tears in my eyes and I was sure I was never going to be a good basketball player. The next morning when I woke up and headed down for breakfast I found a poem by Rudyard Kipling called “If” sitting on my spot at the table. My Dad had highlighted the first sentence of the poem which started this way; “If you can keep your head when all others about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, you will be a man my son.” I had this poem on my bedroom door for the next 7 years until I graduated high school. Of course I still had a few more long rides home over those next 7 years, but that simple lesson has helped to carry me over these past couple of months as the split with the All Iowa Attack occurred and things were being done and said that did not always seem fair.
Lesson Two: I was 17 years old and it was my final year of AAU Basketball. I had decided to stop playing with Minnesota Select where I was clearly the best top player, and went to play for Howard Pulley where I was just one of the guys amongst the best players in the state of Minnesota. It was April 1999 and we had just arrived in Virginia Beach, Virginia for the Nike Boo Williams Invitational. Our team flight landed at 1pm in the afternoon on that Friday and we were scheduled to play The Family out of Detroit at 9pm that night. The Family had players like Ricky Paulding and Arthur Johnson who played at Missouri, Maurice Seawright who played basketball and football at Michigan and the list goes on and on. That night we showed up at the gym and I had all the butterflies that occur when you are in a new situation. As we finished warming up and came to the huddle the coach announced the starting line-up and for the first time in my career I was not in the starting line-up. As the game went on I was substituted in about 6-7 minutes into the game and played about 6 minutes in the first half and then only about 5 minutes in the second half. We lost by 7 and I finished with just 9 points.
As we arrived back at the Best Western in Virginia Beach I immediately went into the bathroom with my cell phone and I can still remember laying on that cold green tile floor. As I dialed the phone home my Dad picked up and could tell something was wrong. I told him the story and he said the following, “You can’t change the coach’s decisions, but you can be ready for your opportunity and when your opportunity comes you can’t give him any other choice but to play you.” The next night we were playing Boo Williams which featured Jason Williams who went on to become an All-American at Duke. Jibrahn Ike who was the shooting guard starting ahead of me got into early foul trouble that game and I had my opportunity. That night I finished with 37 points and we lost in overtime at the buzzer as Williams hit a shot from half court to win the game. However, that was the last game that summer I did not start!
When I arrived at Iowa State for my Freshman year there was a Sophomore named Brandon Hawkins who was ahead of me on the depth chart. As the season began he was named the starter ahead of me and again I found myself in that same position as I was just in a year and half earlier. However, this time I could hear my Dad’s words over and over in my head.
Well, my opportunity came about one two months into the season when Brandon Hawkins decided to transfer and his starting spot was now open for competition. My opportunity was there again and as it was before I started every game for the rest of my Cyclone career.
Now as Kingdom Hoops kicks off its inaugural season another opportunity is available and the question still remains like my Dad said many years ago 'Will I be ready to make the most of it?'
LESSON FROM MY MOM-
"HOW CAN YOU EVER MISS A FREE THROW? NO ONE IS EVEN GUARDING YOU." :) I shot 89.6 percent for my Cyclone career because the 10.4 percent of the free throws I missed I could hear my mom in the midst of Hilton Magic yelling “MAKE YOUR FREE THROWS!”
The lessons are numerous that can be learned through a game such as basketball. Even though the lessons will not always be easy it is important to know as parents the lessons you will teach your child throughout the season will stay on their hearts and minds always as it has with me!
Jake Sullivan
Deuteronomy 6:5-9
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
As we begin this new season there will be so many lessons to be learned. Not just lessons on the basketball court, but lessons that will stay with your child for a lifetime. Your sons and daughters will learn how to shoot the basketball, will increase their basketball IQ’s, will go back to their communities and probably become the best players in their schools; but the most important skills this upcoming season will not be the ones that translate into success on the basketball court. Rather it will be the skills that will help them become successful off the basketball court because of the guidance you provide them.
LESSONS FROM MY DAD-
Lesson One: As I was getting involved in athletics as a 9 year old I quickly found out that I did not like to lose, I did not like to strike out, I did not like to miss a shot, and I did not like when a teammate screwed up. For the most part I did not like when things did not go my way. I suffered from something called lack of self-control. This was something I struggled with while growing up especially as I began to play at a higher level. It all came to a fold one day when I was 12 years old and completely lost my composure in a traveling basketball game against a team in Minnesota called the Osseo Orioles. We lost the game by 30 and I was sure that night my life was going to end. Not because we lost the game, but because my Dad was the coach and I had to get into the car and ride all the way home with him. I thought I might be better off hitchhiking home but I never had time to even make that an option. Let’s just say the ride home was not real fun or exciting; especially as my brother sat in the back of the minivan being highly entertained by the speech I was being given with my life dangling in the balance. I went to bed with large tears in my eyes and I was sure I was never going to be a good basketball player. The next morning when I woke up and headed down for breakfast I found a poem by Rudyard Kipling called “If” sitting on my spot at the table. My Dad had highlighted the first sentence of the poem which started this way; “If you can keep your head when all others about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, you will be a man my son.” I had this poem on my bedroom door for the next 7 years until I graduated high school. Of course I still had a few more long rides home over those next 7 years, but that simple lesson has helped to carry me over these past couple of months as the split with the All Iowa Attack occurred and things were being done and said that did not always seem fair.
Lesson Two: I was 17 years old and it was my final year of AAU Basketball. I had decided to stop playing with Minnesota Select where I was clearly the best top player, and went to play for Howard Pulley where I was just one of the guys amongst the best players in the state of Minnesota. It was April 1999 and we had just arrived in Virginia Beach, Virginia for the Nike Boo Williams Invitational. Our team flight landed at 1pm in the afternoon on that Friday and we were scheduled to play The Family out of Detroit at 9pm that night. The Family had players like Ricky Paulding and Arthur Johnson who played at Missouri, Maurice Seawright who played basketball and football at Michigan and the list goes on and on. That night we showed up at the gym and I had all the butterflies that occur when you are in a new situation. As we finished warming up and came to the huddle the coach announced the starting line-up and for the first time in my career I was not in the starting line-up. As the game went on I was substituted in about 6-7 minutes into the game and played about 6 minutes in the first half and then only about 5 minutes in the second half. We lost by 7 and I finished with just 9 points.
As we arrived back at the Best Western in Virginia Beach I immediately went into the bathroom with my cell phone and I can still remember laying on that cold green tile floor. As I dialed the phone home my Dad picked up and could tell something was wrong. I told him the story and he said the following, “You can’t change the coach’s decisions, but you can be ready for your opportunity and when your opportunity comes you can’t give him any other choice but to play you.” The next night we were playing Boo Williams which featured Jason Williams who went on to become an All-American at Duke. Jibrahn Ike who was the shooting guard starting ahead of me got into early foul trouble that game and I had my opportunity. That night I finished with 37 points and we lost in overtime at the buzzer as Williams hit a shot from half court to win the game. However, that was the last game that summer I did not start!
When I arrived at Iowa State for my Freshman year there was a Sophomore named Brandon Hawkins who was ahead of me on the depth chart. As the season began he was named the starter ahead of me and again I found myself in that same position as I was just in a year and half earlier. However, this time I could hear my Dad’s words over and over in my head.
Well, my opportunity came about one two months into the season when Brandon Hawkins decided to transfer and his starting spot was now open for competition. My opportunity was there again and as it was before I started every game for the rest of my Cyclone career.
Now as Kingdom Hoops kicks off its inaugural season another opportunity is available and the question still remains like my Dad said many years ago 'Will I be ready to make the most of it?'
LESSON FROM MY MOM-
"HOW CAN YOU EVER MISS A FREE THROW? NO ONE IS EVEN GUARDING YOU." :) I shot 89.6 percent for my Cyclone career because the 10.4 percent of the free throws I missed I could hear my mom in the midst of Hilton Magic yelling “MAKE YOUR FREE THROWS!”
The lessons are numerous that can be learned through a game such as basketball. Even though the lessons will not always be easy it is important to know as parents the lessons you will teach your child throughout the season will stay on their hearts and minds always as it has with me!
Jake Sullivan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)